White Feathers
by Jess017
Summary: What happens when your secret lover is also your best male friend, and your best female's friend ex? When Edward dies in a car accident,Bella alone and pregnant,where does that leave her when no one knew of the realtionship to start with?CourseLang/AHAU
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:- **

**What happens when your secret lover is also your best male friend, and your best female's friend ex?**** When Edward dies in a car accident,Bella alone and pregnant, where does that leave her when no one knew of the realtionship to start with?**

**Soo... I'm a dreamer... and when I have certain dreams, usually, I can not for the life of me get them out of my head! This is where most of my stories start. I know, I know, it sounds like a rip off of SM, but it's true, and that is where this started. It was a dream I had about me and a friend (and no, we're not together), and was the only way I could get it out of my head! **

**I also want to state that I have never been pregnant, nor want to be, well, right now anyway. So if there's any mistakes when it comes to the pregnancy details, I'm sorry, I've been going off info from fam/friends and the net and my own imagination. **

**I hope you enjoy, and don't need too many tissues... :( **

**Reviews are appretiated :)**

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I woke up that day with a fantastic feeling. Nothing, not even my chipped purple nail polish could ruin my mood, and yes, that damn purple nail polish has ruined it before. Nor the ramblings of my insanely gorgeous roommate, or her pixie, bouncing talkative little cousin who made our rented cottage.

I fisted my hand in the cold sheets on the opposite side of my bed. The silkiness slid through my fingers and I remembered what had happened last night. It made me smile, and giggly childishly. Edward's smell was still on my pillow. And my sheets. And, if I really thought about it, on me too.

My window still slightly ajar from when he slipped out of it, after our discrete and taboo rendezvous last night.

Oh My Edward. He and I were best friends from day dot. We were next door neighbours in the little town of Forks. Those next doors were almost a mile apart, but they were still next door none the less. When my mother left my father and I, for reasons unbeknownst still to me, he was my rock and my confidant. His mother was my mother after that, and my taxi to and from school, and my babysitter whenever Charlie, my father, had to work. And all together we'd play happy families, where I'd be the Mummy, and Edward would be the Daddy, and my little Baby Born doll would be our daughter. Or we'd play cowboys and Indians, I never minded really. As long as I got cross bow. I had a mean shot with that thing, and more than once stuck the suction cup right in the middle of little Eddie's forehead.

My childhood with him was bliss. We were thick as thieves, and more often than not were, stealing Esme's M & M Butter Cookies from the cookie jar, me on his shoulders because we were both too short to reach as far back as the jar. We were like brother and sister, without that sibling bickering. And in my last year of high school, Edward had become my brother for all intensive purposes when I moved in with the Cullen's after Charlie was shot, and spent months and months recovering in a Seattle hospital, leaving me fending for myself. During this time Esme and Carlisle became my guardians as my father couldn't take care of himself, let alone me, until I reached of age, and then simply mooched around with them to prove that I would stay, much to Esme's delight. I think she always secretly wanted a daughter, and that was what I was to her.

When Rosalie came into the picture, we were much older, much wiser. Edward and Rose hit it off instantly, as did she and I, just in a much different way. It was I who caught them making out in the back seat of Edward's black beat-up Ford pick-up truck when we were sixteen when Edward had first driven that pickup to school. He told me later that he had to christen it, and apparently Rosie was the perfect christening choice. Rosalie, being the good little southern girl she is, later told me that she and Edward would have never of got together if not for that ghastly black beast of a thing, apparently she's a sucker for a trucker.

She may have been the first choice for _that_, but it was me and only me who sat in the passenger seat when we took it for joy rides, driving too fast, being complete and utter reckless idiots with the stereo blaring the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, or Santana, or _any_thing we could get our groove on with. And it was me that helped him push it from the muddy muck one day after _he'd_ got it bogged up to its axles. Three hours later, one shovel and two filthy homebodies, the damn truck got unstuck, needless to say, I refused to ever help him with that dilemma again.

But I was truly ecstatic for them, especially when they decided to go steady. It was idealistic really, my two best friends in the entire world, as one. Rose and I planned their wedding, Edward asked me to be his best man, and they fought about who called dibs on me first, for Rose also wanted me to be her maid of honour. Yet, as high school is, things got complicated. Rosie was an overly jealous girlfriend, and Edward an overly protective boyfriend, and if each other would more than _look_ at a member of the opposite sex, the fights would start. It was a typical on-again, off-again relationship which was forever progressing in someway either forward or backwards, and so hard to understand you sometimes just stayed the hell away.

Now I know what your thinking, Bella Swan, how dare you sleep with your best friends' boyfriend? Well, really, it's not like that. After we'd graduated high school and move on to college and the rest of our lives, Rose and Edward were over. As in really and truly over.

It all happened over an empty bottle of scotch, and knowing Rose was out there screwing the brains out of Emmett McCarty. A simple one-night stand turned into so much more within a few short weeks when the one night of glorious sex, turned into two, which turned into three, which turned into weeks and weeks of amazing _lovemaking_ between us.

It was after about a month of not so spontaneous nightly visits that Edward and I finally talked about _us_ in intense post-intimacy bliss.

'It's not that simple Bells, think how people are going to see us. I mean, everyone thinks I'm so in love and heartbroken over Rosalie because I pined over her for so many years! Yet, incredulously, people do move on!' He sighed so incredibly frustrated with our little town. With it he turned on his side, propping his head up on his hand, his elbow firmly dug into my bed. Instinctively, I licked my lips a little with the sight of his body so shamelessly positioned in front of me. He raised his eyebrow at me, and I knew I'd been caught ogling him. I blushed and pulled the sheet higher, up and over my head.

I squealed loudly when he ripped the sheet away from me and started another round of ticklefest. Ten minutes later, we both panted softly, completely spent from entirely innocent games.

His head lay softly and comfortably on my naked chest, in between my breasts, my fingers weaving their way through his oh-so-soft auburn hair, his bare body tangled in mine, a feather light sheet was pulled to his waist. I felt completely content simply lying there. Not even the promise of sunshine and twittering little birdies could compare to my bliss. I laid there eyes glazed over, envisioning a perfect life of years down the track with little Bell-ward children jumping into our marital bed early on a Sunday morning, joining our ritual snuggle. It made me smile.

A silent sob shaking through Edward's body woke me from my lazy daydream.

'Edward?' I asked in alarm, moving his face to look at me, 'baby, what's wrong?'

He wrapped his arms tighter around my waist, and moved his body more on mine, careful not to crush me at all, 'I'm sorry! I'm so sorry' he whispered feverishly against my skin over my ribs, sobbing all the while.

I wiped away his tears, but more filled their place. 'Oh, baby, please don't cry' I begged him, not understanding his tears, but they broke my heart simply watching them fall. I couldn't stand to see my grown man cry.

'I've made such a mess of all this!' he choked out, in between a sob, 'why couldn't it just be you and me from the start? Why do people have to make us so hard!'

I sucked on my bottom lip and closed my eyes to calm and control my own sobs that were threatening. Neither of us wanted the rumours that would surly circulate about us if we were to come out as a couple, it would be hard on friends, it would be hard on our families, and most definitely hard on us. I didn't want to think what the women would chatter about, especially me being from a broken home, us being almost siblings, and Rose and me being the best of friends. I could see that going down now.

'Oh, sure, Rosie and I are tight as, we share everything... and when I say everything, I mean _everything_' wink wink.

Or damn well not!

And how would Esme and Carlisle and Charlie take it? Would they be happy for us, or damn us to hell? They trusted us; we slept in the same room for sleepovers almost weekly, if not more until I moved in, and then it wasn't uncommon for me to crawl in to Edward big brother like arms when the dreams of Charlie's accident haunted my every though. We'd been caught in some weird and compromising situations by both Carlisle and Esme, and always started with 'this is not what it looks like!' And it was always and completely true.

Would they still trust us? Would they believe us when we said this was a pure and simple from this time forward sort of thing? Would they assume we fooled around when we slept in the same room for completely innocent sleepovers?

'Shh, baby. Look, lets just keep us like this for a while until everything with you and Rose blows over and people see you're no longer together, and then we can come out bit by bit, sound okay?' I asked.

Edward's anger was evident in his eyes, yet his face kept any trace of that away. 'It's just not right, but it will have to do' he raised his body from mine, and I instantly missed the pressure he'd caused on my legs and stomach with his weight. He caught my lips with his, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth, knowing how much I loved it, kissing me with such passion there was no words to describe it. We both fell back onto the bed, thankful we were still completely undressed. I suppose one complete day in bed wouldn't be so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

***sniff sniff* no reviews? Alright, here's the deal, just a little lovin' and I promise to update everyday :) maybe even twice a day... hmm? :) I like reviews! :) Their like taboo relationships with Edward! ;D**

**I don't own Twilight, I just like the names... and maybe the hotness factor... just maybe :) **

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"BELLA!" Rose called through my door, "Get your lazy arse up!" I could almost see her from through the door, hair straight as a ruler in a high ponytail, she would have just got back from running, so she would have her black sweats and running shoes on, and I predict that she was probably wearing her fluoro pink and black crop top, because I remembered something about running with Emmett. Sweat would have been running down the contoured planes of her back so a small wet patch would have formed in the middle of the racer back. And, of course, she would be smoking hot.

I stretched out cracking my back in the process, "I'm up!" I croaked back in a newly found voice for the day, and hearing Rosalie's footsteps continue down the hall.

Mmm, husky... I should call Edward, he loves my voice like this, I thought with a smile.

I rolled to my side, kicking my legs off the bed before I flattened my feet on the floor and stood. I stretched again, sliding my feet on the floor through my clothes that seemed to reside permanently on my floor-drobe.

"I will pick you up this arvo!" I said, pointing to the offending mess, _almost_ believing the words that came out. But I was certain I would force myself to pick them up soon. It was getting to be a hazard for Edward coming in here every night in the dark.

I reached my mirror and smiled, my lips were completely puffy and I had huge bags under my eyes from being up all night. Oh well. It seemed hard to regret that sort of business keeping you awake.

Linking my finger under the hem of my singlet I slept in I hauled it up, and folded it back over my tits. My hands smoothed over the taught skin of my belly.

"Good morning, Baby!" I crooned at my own stomach, caressing it gently, smiling at myself in the mirror.

You know, one major problem being pregnant is the fact that you get fat. I don't care how you sugar coat it, growing a new life and all, and I respect women for it; but truth be said, you still can never fit in your jeans! Needless to say, I'd been wearing my slacks a little more than usual lately. However, if I had a schedule, my washing was not on it, and I either had tight jeans or dirty trackies. Hmmm, such decisions! I chose the jeans. Trust me, it wasn't the easiest decision.

I groaned, "Argh" and wriggling my arse further into denim, while pulling them further up, my fingers linked in the keepers, while walking into the shared kitchen. I should have done the stretch squats. You know, the ones where push out your belly as far as you can, and do like ten squats once you've got your jeans on to relax the material, and make them bearable... I mean, _wearable_.

"Morning" Rose acknowledged me as she usually did, also motioning, and silently asking me, if I would like a coffee.

I shook my head, like I did yesterday morning, and every day before since I found out I was pregnant, and flopped into the chair at the end of the table, slouching down to try to relieve the pressure of the jeans. I even mulled over the though to pop the button for a little while, but no, I wasn't that mush of a slob.

Rose looked me over as I sat there, looking sloppy and still half asleep, my head resting to the high back of the chair.

I saw as she sent a glance up the table to Alice, who sat there slowly eating a bowl of coco-pops, while her head was stuck in a book.

Rose pursed her lips and looked deep in thought for a moment as she wrapped her long fingers around her coffee cup and stared blankly at the daily paper in front of her.

"Bella" she started slowly, drawing my name out, "you know we love you, right?"

My eyes fluttered open, and I raised my head to look at her. Alice looked up from her book too, hearing the royal 'we'.

"Yes?" I questioned, not entirely sure where this was going.

Rose sighed, meeting my gaze for a moment, and then dropping her head back to stare at the newspaper. "It's just, I know if someone had noticed this about me, I would want someone to tell me, so I am trying to be a good friend, even though you are definitely going to hate me..." She had never been the most affectionate person, but both Alice and I were working at her. "It's just you're looking a little more... _plump_... than usual"

My mouth dropped as I realised what she was suggesting, "are you calling me fat?" I yelled back at her. Usually I wouldn't have cared, simply laughing it off and suggesting I should start pounding the pavement a little more, but the combination of my discomfort in my jeans, and the raging pregnancy hormones, my temper was uncharacteristically short. "Well, fuck you Miss Perfect!" and I stormed out. Okay, so much for my fantastic feeling.

_Edward. Need to talk, all gud, plz come tonite? I luv u! Bell _

The whoosh from my phone told me it was sent. Knowing Edward, his phone was on him 24/7, never, ever did I have to wait more than five minutes before a reply came through. I busied myself stuffing old, unwashed clothes in my hamper, still stewing over Rose's heartlessness. No, she didn't know I was pregnant, but _still_!

I checked my phone again.

_Hi love, are you ok? Do you want to talk now? I wont be able to stop by tonight, I'm flying out tonite... remember? I luv u 2. E _

Well, dah. How could I forget, Edward was flying to the east coast to visit his uncle Aro, and his family. My heart dropped. There was no way I would ever tell him I was over two and a half months pregnant with his baby over the phone! I'm sorry, but heartless much? And I wouldn't be able to watch his reaction, or have him take me gently in his strong, muscled arms, and make sweet love to me.

Argh, I shook my head forcing me out of my pregnancy hormones filled fantasy. God, ever since I got pregnant, I was randy for him all the fucking time! And I mean it when I say _all the time_! Lately, I'd hardly let him in the damn window before attaching my mouth to him, in some place or another, and demanding he fuck the sense right out of me. He complied eagerly, not one to complain, yet even I knew he was suspicious of my recent behaviour.

_Omg, thats rite, soz, I forgot! :( no visit... no, not that urgent we need to talk now, just have to tell you something :) Something amazing :), nd no, I will not tell you now hehe, say hi to ur fam for me... or somethin... I love u long time 3_

Sure, I was teasing, but I had to tell somebody, and I really didn't feel right about telling anybody before him.

_R u sure? I wont tell a soul :) I will call you tomorrow, and again on Friday before I fly home. Just to let u know, I'm gonna drive up to see my cousin up north, so if I don't have any signal the day after tomorrow, that'll be why. I love you more, love... stay out of trouble for me :) _

I gagged at the trouble. Me... In trouble... _never_... cue sarcastic remark. Ok, not trouble per se, I'm not _bad_, I just have trouble trying to stay on my own two feet. I'm just gravitally challenged... a.k.a clumsy.

A twinge at my stomach, and I was about to hurl. I made it just in time to the bathroom to empty the non-existent contents of my stomach into the toilet. I looked at my watch, and I was right on time 8.43 am on the dot. I washed my mouth out, laid on my bed and pressed two fingers just above my belly button into my stomach for 60 seconds. I counted slowly feeling my heart beat through my skin. By the time the minute was up I not only felt better physically, but mentally had calmed myself enough to realise that Rose was trying to be a good friend and look out for me, she just didn't go about it the right way.

"Bella? Can I come in?" Alice's tinkling voice came through the door.

I rolled my eyes, I loved little Alice but she used any excuse to shop, and my shift in size was going to fizzle her head like a good bottle of bubbly. Bubbly, cause it bubbles right up to you head and sends you spinning. Wee.

"Sure Allie, come on in" I called, not bothering to shift from my current position.

The squeak of the door let me know she was in, and she closed it quickly behind her. She frowned at me for a moment, sniffing the air, then looking over my semi lifeless form sprawled on my bed. She gasped loudly.

"Your Pregnant!" she started as if she was certain.

I sprung forward. "_What?_ How the fuck did you know?" I almost yelled.

"I saw it! Oh my god, Edward!" Her whole face drained of colour, "it's _Edward's_?" she hissed.

I froze, "huh? _Alice_!"

"It is, isn't it!" She whispered, crawling onto my bed with me, placing her hands over my stomach.

My mouth gaped open and close, before I simply just nodded. "You cannot tell anyone, Allie, not Rose, not anyone! Promise me Allie. Edward doesn't yet know" I trailed off the last part.

Alice chocked back a sob, "oh, Bella"

I wiped back her tears, "Alice, don't cry, this s a happy occasion! It is everything Edward and I wanted"

Alice smiled sadly, and nodded, "I'm happy for you, it's just..." she refused to finish.

"Alice!" I shook her leg playfully, "what is it?"

She chewed her top lip for a moment before resuming to her normal self, "No, nothing" she started bouncing, hugging me periodically, "Bell, just the next time you see him, tell him to come home, live here, so you two can be together!"

"But Rose..."

Alice shook her head, "Bells, no, Rose will get over it! You're having a baby, I'm sure that veto's her and Edward for life!"

Finally we both laughed together.

"So... what are you having?"

I cocked an eyebrow at her, "why don't you tell me?" I joked.

Alice stopped for a second, and then resumed her bouncing self, "oh, she'll be such a cutie, you'll call her Vanessa! Nessie, for short of course"

"Of course" I sarcastically agreed, earning a raised eyebrow from the little firer cracker.

"She'll have your hair, and Edward's eyes! And ten fingers and ten toes. And the cutest little button nose you ever did see!"

My mouth dropped open, "Alice?" When the hell did she pick that up?

She paled, then shrugged, "You just don't bet against me..."

I nodded, "I'll keep that in mind then"


	3. Chapter 3

That day went excruciatingly slow as I went through the motions of my day, finally finishing an enormous and excruciating assignment that had taunted me for weeks. Rose seemed to stay precariously out of my way, even to going to the extent of leaving a plate of mushroom ravioli outside my door that night for dinner. It was her way of saying sorry, and I was grateful that she understood she'd hurt me... a lot!

The next day started out with a bang, when, because of a power-failure, my alarm ceased to work and blinked 12:00 constantly in that fluorescent red, causing me to swear and jump out of bed, only to find, yes, because of my little sleep in, my nausea was waiting until I was awake to hit me.

I could say that I made it to the toilet just in time, or even just the sink. But, alas, no, luck was not on my side this morning. I hurled last nights dinner on the carpet just _outside_ the bathroom. I know, eww, wa-ay too much information! Hey, at least I didn't mention the fact that I kept walking while up-chucking causing my vomit to spread on the bathroom floor.

Alice was the first to hear my somewhat violent reaction to my pregnancy, and quickly bounded to my side, holding back my hair.

"Oh, Bell, it'll be done soon" she cooed softly, rubbing my back before reaching her tiny little body across the room towards the medicine cabinet for a black hair elastic to hold my hair back.

In between my gagging, I sobbed, the pain and hurt of everything came crashing down on my now very weak shoulders. "He doesn't know, Ali" I choked out, slumping down on the cool tiles that were still clean.

Alice looked at me, I could see the sympathy in her eyes, she didn't need to say anything. Stashing the air freshener and disinfectant she'd been hunting for in the vanity cupboard, she fished out a flannel, wet it, and slumped down beside me. Pressing the flannel to my mouth, she looked at me.

I sighed, and got the gist of what she was doing. I took the flannel and wiped around my mouth, before folding it and cooling off my flushed face. That, and laying my head on the tiles and shutting my eyes, made me feel much better.

I heard Alice fill the basin with water, I assumed to clean up my vomit. I would have protested, but it felt like my stomach was going to make acquaintance with my mouth again.

So the little pixie scrubbed up the bathroom for me, carpet first. I would have said I sat there for about 30 minutes while she cleaned... and I continued to vomit.

"I'm so sorry, Ali!" I sobbed, dry-reaching after nothing else would come up. She really didn't need to see this.

She continued to rub my back, "shush Bell, don't be stupid, you'd do the same thing for me" and she forced tissues and more water into my hands.

I nodded, and blew my nose, and wet my lips with a little bit of the now sweet tasting water, before allowing her to flush the toilet.

"Geez, this is not what I expected when I needed to take a leak!" a male voice cut thickly through the silence.

I looked up with scared, shocked eyes, trying to cover what I could of my legs in their tiny pink pyjama shorts and rest of my body that seemed swollen and frumpy with pregnancy 'side effects'. It was now all too painfully obvious that the Snoopy that was usually well proportioned on my pyjama tank-top was mangled and disfigured with a humongous nose and stretched-beyond-realistic floppy ear.

"Oh, Jazzy, sorry, I heard Bell's... she's sick, um, you can use the down stairs bathroom" she was quickly enveloped in his long arms and was given a light peck on her nose.

"It's alright, no biggie. Just wondering where you'd run off to, but I can see it was important"

I slowly reached over and dragged a towel off the rail to cover myself as they talked. The man looked back down at me.

"Feeling better?" he asked kindly,

I shrugged, "as good as it gets"

He laughed at me, not meanly, but still, it ruffled my feathers so to speak. "Wait a bit longer, you'll wish for the morning sickness!"

And then I paled. "What!" I shrieked, remembering to try to tone it down as to not wake Rose.

Alice looked as confused as I did, so I didn't pounce on her for telling this mystery man, "Jazzy?"

'Jazzy' looked from Alice, to me then back to Alice. Then paled like us, "shit! I haven't put my foot in it right? I mean, you are pregnant right? Oh, fuck, I'm sorry, I assumed "

"No, no! You're right" I cut him off, before he completely chastised himself. "I just haven't told anyone, not even the father, and you just _knew_!"

He sighed, and smiled, "I'm a midwife" he shrugged, and apparently it was news to Alice 'cause she had this funny look on her face as she pulled away slightly to have a better look into his eyes.

It was one of those, 'I'm-not-sure-you're-serious-but-I'm-definately-not-going-to-laugh-cos-if-you-are-that-would-be-embarresing' kind of looks.

"I wanted to be an obstetrician/ gynaecologist, but didn't get the scores, so I settled for midwifery..." his voice somewhat trailed off, and Alice's face was _priceless_.

"You look at women's Virgingerbread's all day long?" She screeched, so damn close to slapping him it wasn't funny.

'Jazzy's eyes popped out of his head, fumbling over what words to say, that all that came out was "Virgingerbread?"

"Answer me Jasper! I cannot believe you!"

Ah, so the name was Jasper.

I couldn't help myself, I cracked up. Laughing, until my stomach hurt even more and tears came to my eyes. "Alice!" I gasped, in between guffaws, "lay off, it's his job" I reasoned with her, not caring anymore about my frump I called a body. Snoopy can go screw himself if he wants to stay normal.

"Nice to meet you by the way, Jasper. I'm Bella" I finally forced out, still giggling.

"Uhuh" he looked wary now. "_Virgingerbread_?" he still whispered to himself.

I rolled my eyes. "We have very interesting and provocative gingerbread men... or women... at Christmas" I watched his eyes furrow in confusion, "think half a smartie" I hinted, and watched his face go from understanding to disgust, laughing at the same time.

"Argh, I will never be able to look at another gingerbread man the same way, thankyou so much Miss Bella!" his Texan accent suddenly came out strong with his guard going down.

I looked to Alice who had suddenly forgotten all about his occupation, and looked as if she would melt at the sound of him. I caught her eye, and she winked.

Oh Alice and her accents.

I used the toilet, lid down, to lever myself up.

"Well, nice to meet you this fine morning, now that I no longer want to hurl, the bathroom's all yours!" I patted his shoulder as I walked past, before stopping and glaring my best death-ray's at him "oh, and just for the record, if that seat is left up, and I fall in the toilet in the middle of the night, I will hunt you down. Got it?"

He burst out laughing, before giving a mock salute, and the best 'Yes, Ma'am' I could have hoped for.

"Alrighty, we have an understanding, at ease soldier" And I shuffled back down to my room and back into my now cold bed.

I had one text on my phone. Edward. Strange, it was a video file, with a cover picture of a wooden tabled with a very dark tint on it. On the centre of the table was a sheet of while card. 'Bella' it had written on it in Edward's lovely and neat handwriting, with little hearts around my name and a swirl to underline it.

'_I miss you! _' the message after it said, _'And I intend to keep my promise :)' _

I frowned, what promise?

I touched the play button in the middle of the video and turned my phone to the side so the screen adjusted.

A vaguely familiar guitar rift softly played out. It sounded like beachy summer days, lounging on green grass, and love all rolled into one.

A string must have been pulled, because suddenly a new card, with different words was revealed.

'_This is the first day of my life  
I Swear I was born right in the doorway  
I went out in the rain  
Suddenly everything changed  
They're spreadin' blankets on the beach.'_

I gasped, I thought I knew this song. Edward constantly hummed it the day after our first night, and sung completely random and heartfelt lyrics into my ear. The next day I looked up some of the lyrics, and found Bright Eyes' song, 'First Day Of My Life', and downloaded it from iTunes instantly. It was Edwards' ringtone, and had been since that first night.

That card was pulled away, and again a new one was revealed. I was crying hard now. So hard that I couldn't read the words, just listen. It was stating that that the lover's face was the first one he saw, for he was blind before he met her. He was lost, he didn't know where he had been, but know he knew where he should go.

'_So I thought I'd let you know  
That these things take forever  
I especially am slow  
But I realized that I need you  
And I wondered if I could come home'_

Came the next card. I smiled, 'of course you can come home', I sent telepathically to him.

The next verse had the girl driving all night simply to see him. 'I thought it was strange' the verse stated, 'You said everything changed. You felt as if you just woke up'. That was Edward and My verse, because it was like a switch was flicked with us. One day we were friends, the next we were completely infatuated by each other. It felt as if we had both simply woken up only to see each other standing right there. Magical.

_'And you said,  
This is the first day of my life,  
I'm Glad I didn't die before I met you  
But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you  
And I'd probably be happy.'_

Happy. That's for sure, maybe even an understatement. If I had Edward beside me for the rest of my life, I would smile every morning, and keep that smile on my face through out the day. As long as we were together, we were happy. We could be in the middle of a fight, and turn around and see something in the others eyes and burst out laughing.

'_So if you wanna be with me  
With these things there's no telling  
We'll just have to wait and see  
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck  
Than waiting to win the lottery_

Besides maybe this time it's different  
I mean I really think you like me...'

I smiled a little wider, oh, yeah, Edward, I might like you... just a little.

The lyrics trailed off, but the melody continued longer than it usually did. He must of chopped and changed the song. And the card changed once again.

'_I think I like you too..._

_And I will make you my wife' _

If I hadn't smiled wide enough, it just got a bit bigger.

'_I promise...' _

And a ring in a tiny black box slid into frame. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my throat, in between my tears. It was psychotic and loud and completely me. To laugh and cry simultaneously.

I must have been louder than I thought because when I wiped the tears from my eye, there Alice stood with a concerned look on her face. She cocked her head to the side.

"You alright?"

I looked at her, and burst out laughing, and into tears again. "The bastard!" I laughed.

I explained everything to her, and let her watch the video. She buzzed with excitement for me, giving me the necessary congratulatory hugs.

"Oh, Alice... I'm so happy! And so confused" I laughed.

I just couldn't believe that he'd do that! We hadn't even told anyone we were together. Not even his parents, or my parents, or our friends, not including Alice, or our extended family. It was something that seemed to lie on the cards for us, just no one knew!

Alice shrugged, and smiled, being strangely quiet. "I am so happy for you!" she whispered in my ear, kissing my forehead and leaving me. She popped back a minute later; I was still sitting in the same position.

"Um, do you want me to call Ang for you? Tell her that you're sick?" she asked reminding me of today's eventful morning.

I shrugged, than shook my head, "No, I'm fine now" and at the reminder that I did actually have to work, I showered, dressed, then went to work at the little coffee shop I'd been at for years.


	4. Chapter 4

"How you doing Bella?" Angela, my supervisor, asked, as the bell on the entry door announced my entrance for me.

"Hey-a Angie, not bad... you? Have we been busy this morning?"

Ang shrugged, "not really, bit of a rush before lunch, but it's simply died off in here"

I groaned, throwing my handbag under the main counter and leaning up against it, "just what I wanted to hear!" I said sarcastically. I was eager to be busy, I needed to be busy. If I was busy, I would keep my mind off Edward, and how lost I felt without him here.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I looked up at her, tried to smile, and simply burst into tears. Damn it, hold it together woman! No I was crying for any reason, it was the pregnancy. That was my excuse, and I was damn well sticking to it!

"Holy crap, Bella..." I felt Ang's thin arms wrap me up and hold me tight. "Shh, Bells, shhh..."

At that moment, the bell rang on the door, and a customer walked in.

"How you doing, Angela?" the sweet voice that I knew well.

I forced myself out of Ang's loving arms and turned away from our customer.

"Oh, Esme, I'm well, how are you?"

"I'm good! How is Carlisle? And Edward?" she asked innocently.

I let out an involuntary sob at the mention of Edward's name which both Ang and Esme heard. I covered my mouth seconds too late.

"He's good, over in New York at the moment visiting family at the moment"

"How lovely" Ang continued, still periodically looking over my way, "now, what can I get for you?"

"Just a flat white... one sugar, skim milk?"

Angela must have nodded as she was writing, because without another word I heard the coffee machine spurt to life.

"Bella, honey?" I heard Esme come up behind me and felt her touch my shoulder.

I jumped at her touch.

"Sorry, Bella, are you alright?"

I nodded, wiping tears away.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I'm fine" I turned to look at her, "honestly, I don't know why I'm crying!" I laughed.

Esme laughed too. "Is this about my son?" she asked quietly.

I shrugged, "no, not really" I sighed in defeat, "Esme, you know he's one of my best friends, and I'm just emotional right now, and the combination of him being away, and me, just tipped me over"

Esme simply looked me up and down and nodded sceptically. "I'll believe you for now, my dear, but when Edward gets back, you and I will talk! I mean, have you two been fighting or something? I haven't seen you together in the same room for weeks, and when you are, it's icy!"

I rolled my eyes, and finally nodded in defeat. I guess Eddie and I weren't as good as actors as we thought! I knew what she meant though. A few weeks back, Esme hosted a pool party, come barbeque, and Edward and I stayed at opposite ends of the backyard almost all afternoon as to not tip anyone off of our feelings towards each other. Plus, you know how one innocent touch becomes two, and before you know it your making out in front of your family and friends! Okay, maybe not, but the spark between us had changed, and we couldn't let anyone know, so, we were somewhat cold shouldered to each other, trying to act normal. We're not so good at normal!

"Esme? I have your coffee!" Angela called out still quietly, running her nails over the smooth hardwood counter.

Esme thanked Angela, after giving me another squeeze on my shoulder and gently picking up the coffee to leave. "Call me Bell, if you need to talk, my son can be an arse some times, but he has a heart of gold, and he loves you so much, you're like his sister"

Stab knife in and _twist_. I winced.

"Yeah, I know, we'll get over it soon, I'll come catch up for a girls day soon, Esme, promise"

Esme patted my cheeks with her handkerchief, "good, now dry those eyes, and I'll speak to that son of mine"

I gapped my mouth open, "n-n-no... don't worr "

Esme, with that motherly, don't mess with me look in her eyes, shushed me, and simply walked out, leaving me with a groan that escaped my lips.

Ang looked over at me with her eyebrows raised.

"Do not say a word Angie! _Please_, just _don't_!" I held my hand up and shut my eyes, my voice still quivering.

Ang held her hands up in defeat, "wasn't going to say a word" her innocent eyes shining.

I nodded, "thanks" I sighed, rubbing my tired eyes, "okay, let's get to work"

The cramps started after my shift.

They were unlike anything I had felt before ever in my life, so incredibly painful that all I could do was double over and moan. I barely could wrench myself from my truck and into the house. The tears were streaming down by now, and the fear of actually losing the baby had set in. I was in panic, push button mode thinking 'Home, home, everything will be fine if you just get home'. I barely stepped in the door when a sever spasm hit me.

"Argh!" I moaned, finding my way to the floor. "Alice!" I called out, curling into a ball; that seemed to help a little. "ALICE!" I yelled with all my left energy.

She bounded down the stairs, "Wha ? Oh, my God! BELLA!" she ran to my side, brushing my hair from my face before freezing, not knowing what to do.

"Is it the baby?" she asked.

I moaned a yes.

"Jasper!" she yelled, and he was down there as soon as he scaled the stairs.

"If it's baby, get her to the hospital. We might still be able to save the little trooper" His arms scooped me up, and I black out, relieved to be away from the pain.

Alice paced back and forth out side my room. There was no reason I should still be out. There was physically nothing wrong with the baby, nothing at all. In fact it was growing fast, bigger and stronger than normal. Yet I was still out to it. She cursed me under her breath, telling me to stop being so melodramatic and damn well wake up! I knew she wasn't being mean, she was scared and wanted to see me safe.

She was having a hell of a time trying to keep Carlisle away from the maternity ward to find out I was in. After all, he is my doctor.

Ali thanked the Lord for the gift she'd found in Jasper, and apologised for having indecent relations with him before marriage, however seemed to slip her mind to promise that she'd stop. Marriage, however, was in their imminent future, so I'm sure the big man upstairs would turn a grateful blind eye.

Jasper was a life saver, convincing everyone that I was really fine, and so was the, shh, _baby_. But it was not to leave this room that I was expecting.

I knew Alice was trying to contact Edward, with no luck. And this was the name I woke up with on my lips.

"Edward?" I whispered reverently, "Edward!" I squeezed the hand in my own.

Only to find it was Edward at all. "Ungh, sorry Jasper, I though..."

Jasper's kind eyes looked and me and he smiled, "it's alright, I get it"

I didn't let go of his hand, only moved the other to my belly. "How's Ness?" I asked.

"Ness? You've named it already?" he joked.

I rolled my eyes, "no! Alice named it already!" I looked at him, he looked back, studying me face to see if there was any trace of joking in my face, alas, no.

He sighed, "that woman will be the death of me, won't she?" his voice was thick and very Texan like.

I nodded, "it's alright, she'll resurrect you every time!" I promised with a straight face.

He laughed at my attempt at serious humour. "So? How's Ness?" I spurred the conversation back to me.

"She's fine! Nothing wrong! Health and growing at an outstanding pace. If you're not sure about when little Nessie was conceived, you may want to check it"

I nodded, "yep, I'll get to that!" I replied sarcastically. I was about 99.9% sure of the date. The one time we go protectionless. Opps.

"So, when can I come home?" I asked.

He shrugged, "well, there physically nothing wrong, you're healthy, so is Ness, I s'pose any time"

I smiled, "good, let's go home"

Jasper looked worried, "Are you sure? I mean, don't you want to stay, just in case?"

I looked at him, "Should I be worried, Jasper, tell me!"

He looked frustrated and sighed, "that's the thing, we have no idea why your body did what it did, nor any consequences. You look in perfect health, but you were out for hours!" he tapped the side rail with his fingernails, I assumed it was almost a nervous tick, "what if you go home, and find that there's something wrong later on?"

I looked at him, "should something go wrong later on?"

He squirmed, "no, not logically, but you never know what's going to happen!"

I finally laughed, "oh, Jasper, you have that spot on! You do never know what's going to be around the corner, however I have a feeling that everything will be alright, little Nessie is a fighter, and she damn well better be. Her father and I haven't exactly told anyone we were seeing each other, and let's just say it's a bit of a taboo! Have you seen Alice?" I suddenly asked.

His eyebrows knotted together, "Mmm, yes, she worries me! I told her you really shouldn't come home and she told me nonsence, you'd be better at home than in the hospital, she _saw_ it?"

I laughed, ah Alice. "Yes, she's a talented one! If she says I should go home, then I'm definantly going home!"

He shook his head, frowned again and sighed, "I suppose it's your choice"

I smiled at him, "Yeah, I have spent way too long in hospitals as it is!"

A smirk on his face appeared, and for a moment, I was lost in how similar he looked to Edward, and somehow something didn't fit. "Yes, I read your file, very interesting life my dear Isabella!"

I scoffed at him, "Hey, don't pick on the invalid!"

"Yes, finally you admit it!"

I rolled my eyes at him, "take me home... nurse!"


	5. Chapter 5

I was strictly on bed rest, just for the day. It was bloody infuriating. And all Jasper's doing. Twiddling my thumbs all damn day with everyone falling over themselves to help me. And fucking Edward! If I had my hands on him right now, I'd strangle his neck. That stupid bloody boy that constantly kept his phone on him, didn't bloody well reply to me! I'd sent him about ten texts by now, and phone more times than I'd care to admit, and I was furious. Gradually, and thanks to Jasper's generous lending of the 'How I Met Your Mother' series, I got sleepy enough to sleep. I shot Edward an 'I love you' text, even though I was mad at him, but it made me feel better resolving my own problems before I slept.

The next morning I found chaos. Or more like, chaos found me. I had my morning chuck, it was getting earlier and earlier each day, and thankfully better and better. Pulled on a jumper of Edward's I had tucked away that no one actually knew was Edwards because it had been so long since he'd worn it in public, however he'd worn it for me just before he left, and, by gosh, it smelt heavenly when I'd slipped it on this morning.

I was still rubbing my eyes when I walked into the kitchen, and was faced, as stated before, with chaos. Coffee has _nothing_ compared to a policeman sitting at your kitchen table to wake you up in the morning.

I saw Alice weeping in Jasper's arms, well that counted them out.

"Rosalie" I gasped, my whole being feeling like ribbons slipping away through my fingers. No, not my best friend. She and I hadn't even been on speaking terms, and now she was, what? Dead? The policeman stood from the table and took my arm.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered so sincerely, I actually believed it.

"No..." I looked at him, desperate for him to go, 'No, hey, kid, I'm just kidding!' but the pained expression on his face said everything.

I was close to collapsing into his broad chest, wishing for Edward, I saw the unmistakable blonde halo of Rose's hair.

"Rose?" she made a bee-line for me, and hit me hard in the chest, hanging on for dear life.

I held her close, feeling suddenly motherly, as I rubbed up and down her spin, thanking god he hadn't taken my bestest girl friend. She sobbed, convulsed almost, into my chest, into Edward's jumper. "Oh, Rosie, I thought I'd lost you. I'd never forgive "

"He's gone!" she interrupted, "my Edward is gone" and she set herself off on another fit of crying.

_What? _I replayed it over and over. HerEdward is gone. _HER _Edwardis gone. He was never _mine_. No, always _hers_.

"Shh... shh" I whispered over and over, continuing to console her for her supposed loss.

Emmett came to my rescue not five minutes later, but it felt like a life time. And for once, I couldn't cry. The numbness was paralysing. I just stood there. In all honesty I was somewhat calculating how long it was to drive to the nearest bridge, and jump off, but I decided that none of the bridges where tall enough to kill you, most probably just paralyse. No good. There was knives in the drawers though. Run a hot bath upstairs, slash the wrists, I could be dead in minutes. Or the bleach, I could scull down what was left of the bleach, but I wasn't sure whether that would completely work. No, the knives where the best.

Alice had snuck up behind me and touched my shoulder gently. I didn't acknowledge her until she slipped a small hand to my belly, over my bump. Ness. Vanessa. She'd looked exactly like her father, with bright green inquisitive eyes and long auburn hair. If I lost me, I lost her too. And I couldn't lose my stabling point.

"You snapped out of it?" she whispered.

I gulped, and nodded. A breath hitched in my throat. My Edward was gone.

"Good, because it was me that was going to find your naked arse in the tub" she was pale and very clammy.

I apologised with my eyes, and held onto her for dear life, the other around my middle, around my Nessie.

The policeman ushered us all to the table. Apparently neither Esme or Carlisle could bring themselves to identify the object that were found in Edward's Car.

"Wait, so you didn't find his body?" I asked, with a glimmer of hope.

The policeman shook his head solemnly, "no, however his car was found wrapped around a tree. There was a lot of blood, but no body. We presume that he'd somehow survived and got out, but the amount of blood that was lost was just phenomenal, no one could survive loosing that much blood"

I shook my head at him, "no!" I stated firmly, "no, that's not... that can't be right! Edward is over visiting family, he's with his Cousin right now!"

The man sucked in his lip, I was making him uncomfortable, I knew that, but I was damn well not letting go without a fight. Or at least all the details I could damn well get. "We contacted Tanya, his cousin, she told us he'd flown back early to see his girlfriend, he was going to propose"

Rosalie looked up at that, "girlfriend? Edward didn't have a girlfriend, let alone anyone..." her voice trailed off, "... you don't think he was going to try to propose to me, right? He wouldn't think that a ring would get us back together, right? Oh my God, what if he was! I mean, I caused all this!" she exclaimed, the insanity of grief setting in.

"No, Rose, it wasn't you" I quietly told her, letting her off the hook, I didn't know why though, I wanted to see that bitch suffer, how dare she think My Edward was hers! "Edward was seeing someone for a while now, he just didn't want to say anything because he was scared of how you would react, you know how you two are!"

The hurt in her eyes was evident, shit! "What? Why? Who was he seeing?"

"Rose? Does it really matter?" oh, crap, by the look of Rose's bristled skin, that didn't come out well.

"Yes it _matters_, Isabella. She should be with us, mourning _with us_, not by herself. She has been told hasn't she?" Rose directed the question at the policeman, but I answered.

"Yeah, she's been told" I replied coldly, "she wanted to be by herself at the moment. I'll get back to her later"

The policeman looked at me as if to say 'how the hell do you know', and considering he knew I hadn't left the room, I simply stared back blankly.

"So, we've established he was to propose, do you have stuff for us to identify or something?" Okay, okay, my Dad's a cop, I know how procedure works, and I know this wasn't exactly it, but I needed to see it really wasn't Edward in that car. It was some stupid thief or something that had left everything in the car.

The cop hesitated, then pulled out a plastic bag full of things. A phone, a wallet, cracked black ray-ban's and the big one, a little black box. Pulling the seal open, the cop gently slid the items on the table. They were impeccably clean. There must have been blood on them before that had been collected and cleaned off. It was the phone. The iPhone, to be correct, the cover was a little worse for wear, but it was the same cover. I touched the centre button. The screen lit up with a photo of me. Well, a photo of my body. I wondered when he had taken the photo, which seemed to be candle lit, that so well showed off the side of my left boob, the curve of my back and my gluteus maximus. I hadn't seen this one before. My lips involuntarily turned upwards slightly as I swiped across the lower screen. And there, in front of the picture of us in a chaste kiss was what I'd dreaded so deeply.

32 missed calls.

I took my own phone out, hiding it under the table, and dialled Edward's number in the keypad, somewhere in the back of my mind was saying 'for the last time' but I ignored them. After hitting send, I held my breath. 'Don't ring, don't ring. Please, don't ring' I chanted.

'_...This is the first day of my life, I'm Glad I didn't die before I met you...' _the ringtone played.

A huge heart with B+E embossed in flashed to the screen.

_Mon Amore_, appeared too. Mon amore, _My love_.

I disconnected the call with a sigh, "Mmm Hmm!" I nodded, tears rimming my eyes, "it's him" I slid the phone back with shaky fingers. "Now, if you'll excuse me"

I scrapped the chair legs across the linoleum floor with a horrid skidding sound, and quickly made my way to the exit.

I didn't stop power walking until I hit the trees, not far from our house.

"Oh, Edward! I am so mad at you right now!" I cried, letting the tears go. "Geez, Edward! Why? Huh? You could have waited one more day, but no, you had to be the big hero and bring the ring home right away! For fuck sake, I'd already said Yes!" I yelled the profanity and everything after into the trees. Then sobbed. The smell of him was on me, in my bed, imbedded in my skin. It was like he was right here, standing right next to me yet I felt so lost.

"Bella?" Jasper asked quietly.

I lunged towards him and he took me into his open, awaiting arms.

He ran his fingers gently through my hair, detangling it as he did. It was a trait I was so used to from Edward.

"He loved you so much, you know" he whispered in my ear, so softly he talked, I wasn't sure wether I'd heard him right.

Looking up at him, I fought with my emotions trying to keep them in check, "what do you mean? Did you know him?"

Jasper seemed to be struggling just as much as me, he finally nodded and tried a small smile on for size, "he is..." he chewed on his bottom lip, and rolled his eyes up, willing the tears not to fall,  
"_was_...' he cracked then, with a little hitch in his voice, and tears streaming from his eyes, "he's my cousin" he finally forced out, "Tanya is my sister, I'm over here to surprise him when he got back"

I gasped, yes, I remembered Edward talking so highly of his cousin, who wanted to be an Obstetrician, and I laughed because I thought it was weird and somewhat gross that a male would want to be that.

"No" I shook my head, taking his broken face in my hands, and wiping away the tears that fell from his blue-green eyes, "no, he was your brother" I told him with such certainty, and it cracked him a bit further.

And instead of my crying into his chest, he sobbed violently into my neck as I held him close, constantly rubbing my hands over his back.

We stood there grieving with each other for unknown quantity of time, but when Alice did finally come looking for us the sun was high in the sky, clouds nowhere to be seen. It was as if God was ceasing to grieve with us, no dark and story clouds, no angry thunder or lightning, no miserable drizzling rain. The sun shined, the birds twittered, the animals were brave and careless in the trees.

When Jasper was wretched from my arms, I felt so empty. I walked to my room, locked the door, and crashed out on the bed. Exhausted from grieving, I curled up against 'Edwards' pillow, and slipped back into my unconscious state.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi **

**To all my reviewers: Thankyou, you really made my melancholy day so much brighter, and enthused me to clean my (tiny) apartment while smiling and dancing to my music :) And as a reward, viola! A new chapter! :) Also, this is an All-Human story... so sorry to say... Edward's not coming back as a hot-smexy vamp... :( sorry, although it would have made an interesting twist in the story... hmm... no, not changing it now... sorry... And don't give up cause Edward's dead... there's more to this story. **

**Also, I am reading 'Bella, The Lioness' by BellaMadonna at the moment, considering it has just been finished... and it is Epic! In story line and in volumes of writing... +320 K... *whistles in amazement* as i said, Epic! Give it a go... it's fan-fucking-tastic! It's a Bella-is-vamp-Edward-is-human story, with a difference... I'm not even half way though... or a quater, but it's good.  
Anywho... onto WF...**

**Kisses... **

* * *

Weeks slipped by, and I never did venture far from my bedroom. Alice called me heart-broken, Jasper called me catatonic, but I knew better. I was only half of what I once was, Edward fitted in with me so simply he formed that other half, and I'd given it to him willingly thinking I'd never have to be without that other half. I'd gone through the motions of grieving, I was upset, I was disbelieving, I was angry, I'd even bargained my own life just to have him back for one day, told God, or whoever was playing this awful prank on me that I would be happy to go if I could just have one last kiss, one hug, one goodbye. But now I just numb, I couldn't bring myself to accept that he was gone.

I'd lost a heap of weight, and I was wishing for the frump I once had that showed of my newly pregnant health. Now instead I was stick thin, my arms all gross and fragile, my body all bony apart from my stomach that ballooned outwards. I'd felt Ness kick now, I was about four and half months now. My Edward had been gone two months now, and everyday was still agony. I wasn't living life, I was simply dealing with it.

Wrapping of knuckles on my door forced me to emerge from my bed. Alice stood on the other side, hands on her hips, a simple solitaire diamond ring lay on her finger, a promise from Jasper that she would one day be his 'Mrs'. Edward's death had shaken up both of them to realise life is short, that you have to seize the day and all that bullshit, so they jumped, and were trying for a baby now, even though they weren't married.

Her chirpy face was that last one I wanted to see this early in the morning.

"What?" I bluntly asked.

The evil smile on her face didn't falter, "get dressed, your coming with me today"

I rolled my eyes, "no, no I'm not"

She laughed, "Yes you are! You have a baby appointment"

She played her Ace and it sure trumped anything that I had. I nodded.

"When?"

"In an hour's time. So, go have a shower, wash your hair... damn well shave your legs! I'll set out an outfit for you" The pixie had an evil smirk on her face, this was not going to end well.

"Oh, Alice, you don't have to do that!" Well, it was worth a try.

Alice rolled her eyes, and pointed to the bathroom door. "Go!"

I huffed, grabbed my terrycloth towel from the back of my door, and trudged my way down to the shower.

The water running down my back was somewhat therapeutic, and somewhat painful. I was slightly sadistic in the fact that I used the same wash that Edward had once used, and relished in the smell. By the time I'd actually got my hair washed, legs and underarms shaved, and took some time to enjoy my naked bump, constantly swirling my hands around it, I'd spent at least 30 minutes in the water, and it was starting to cool. Opps. I hoped Alice, Rose and Jasper had showered before. Not that I really cared about Rose. Since that day when I'd said that Edward had indeed moved on from her, yet refused to tell her who, she'd got increasingly bitter and petty toward me. It was horrid the first few weeks, and in hindsight, probably influenced my decision to stay inside my own little bubble, with the raging hormones and raw grief, but lately it's been easier to deal with. However, I still didn't know what Emmett saw in her.

I walked back through the hallway clad in only my towel, it wasn't too bad, I'd bumped into Jasper a few times, flushed bright red and gave a little smile, and walked a little quicker to my room, but he was a good sport about it, and I'd been seeing him more like a brother than a stranger lately. It was still awkward when I thought I have had to spread my legs for a little peek-a-boo for him, but hey... what's a friendship without a little Virgingerbread time?

This time I was alone in the corridor. Thankfully.

The outfit Alice put out for me made me scoff just a little, but when I checked the time, and realised I still hadn't had breakfast and had an appointment in twenty minutes, and it took fifteen of those to actually get there, I hurriedly threw it on. At least Alice took in my instructions and accepted the 'No Dresses' rule for visits to the doctor. Lying there in a hospital gown because Alice had forced me into a dress for my first ultrasound appointment was, well lets just leave it at MORTIFYING! And she just sat there eyes glued on the screen to not notice my death glares radiating right at her. But she sure got the tongue lashing on the way home, and as I put it, she was never, ever allowed to 'dress me in those fucking dresses' ever again, well, she took that as 'to a doctors appointment'. Not exactly what I meant, but I was lenient with her, bless my fucking soul!

I turned to the mirror and was pleasantly surprised. The black skirt skimmed the tops of my knees, and sat low on my hips, under the bump. A blue singlet, that was tight against my skin, but not uncomfortable, showed my baby off quite nicely, and the denim short sleeved, cut off, bolero-type jacket covered my bony shoulders. It was very mummy-to-be-slash-rock-chic. I fished on my table for a leather cuff Edward had left in my room one night, and fastened it so it was just tight, but was easily able to move freely. I smiled freely for the first time, and looked at cuff, noticing the writing for the first time. _Edward Cullen_, the cursive writing etched into the leather stated, but it was the writing that was under it, and upside-down, so the general people could read it easily, but only if you turned your wrist around it could be seen by yourself. _Bella Cullen_. I gasped and panted and wondered how long ago these words had been on his lips.

Alice rudely interrupted my 'moment' but yelling at me through the door. I opened it widely and force the cuff towards her. She read Edward's name, then forced my arm around so she could read the other name properly. My name.

A smiled played on her lips, but she said nothing. There were truly no words that I wanted to hear. The cuff was just one more piece to the puzzle that proved Edward's love to me.

"Come on Mrs Cullen, we have a doctor's appointment to get to, and at this rate we are going to be late!"

The appointment was not noteworthy. Simple and straight forward. Except the Baby was bigger than she should be.

"Where you a big baby?" the doctor asked, after telling me this news.

I looked at her blankly. How the hell should I know? I was a baby! I shrugged, "I don't... I don't know" I smiled meekly.

"Is there any way you can find out?" the doctor pried subtly, but none the less, pried.

I shook my head, "not really, my father is enjoying his retirement _somewhere_? My mother is somewhere else?" my statements came out like questions.

You see, I didn't lie. My father, Charlie, was _somewhere_ enjoying his retirement and hefty payout after being shot and almost killed in the line of duty. He recovered completely, but only just. He figured it was his time to see the world and enjoy life after that day. I honestly didn't mind, it meant I moved in with the Cullen's. It's not like I can argue with that! He was going to be seriously pissed that I didn't let him know about the whole pregnant-and-the-fathers-dead thing, but I was really enjoying him not being here, and I didn't want to ruin his fun. I figured I had about three to four years to kill until he decided to return. I deal with all that then.

My mother however, after leaving when I was three, had little to no contact. I knew she'd remarried from the invitation that was sent to the house when I was fifteen or so. Charlie and I discussed it and in the end I sent it back with a big fat 'Not At This Address' lie on it. Charlie wasn't quite happy at that, but I really didn't care. At that stage he was my all, and no hair-brained, erratic mother could ever that that from me, so I decided not to even let it.

"What about the father?" the doctor asked.

I stared at her. How the hell do I answer that?

I shook my head, "he's no longer with us"

The doctor looked suddenly sympathetic. "I'm so sorry" she murmured, not pushing for any more information.

"Mmm, me too" I said it sincerely. "He didn't know, and he'd just proposed" why the hell was I telling her this?

She shook her head. "Argh, this is why I chose this! At least you see the miracle of life instead of death"

I had to smile at her. She'd just given me a reason to be happy again. Ness was truly a miracle. "True"

She sent another smile my way. We'd found our understanding. And I'd let her pry all she'd like.

Alice was waiting for me in the waiting room.

"How'd it go?" she jumped up, throwing the fashion magazine down as she did.

"She's bloody big!" I laughed easily, feeling incredibly light hearted for the first time in months.

Alice took my chin in her little hand in a pistol grip, "who are you, and what did you do to my Bella?" she let me go when I frowned, "no, honestly, what the hell did she give you in there?" she asked while collecting her purse.

I shook my head and we started to walk, my hands comfortably circling my belly, the cuff firmly pressed against my skin.

"This baby is a miracle, Alice. She just... reminded me of that" I should have been watching where I was walking because, sure enough, I crashed into someone.

There reflexes were apt, because my arse didn't hit the floor, and I was swallowed in their long, strong arms.

Their smell was the first thing that hit me after they actually did. It was so familiar, so intoxicating. I'd smelt it on my pillows, on my body, it was Edward's scent. I looked up with hope.

"Oh, my God, Carlisle!" I shoved my head back down; ashamed I'd thought Edward's father was actually Edward himself. "I'm so sorry"

Carlisle laughed, "how did I know that it could only be you?" He kept my upper arms in his grasp as I stepped back, making sure I didn't fall still.

I looked at him, he looked ten years older, his eyes had dark circles under them, and his hair wasn't as neat and proper as it usually was.

"Just guess I'm lucky, hey!" I gave him a small smile.

He ran his fingers through his hair, just the way Edward would do.

"Well, I suppose I'll see you around?" I asked, feeling awkward about standing in front of my secret would-have-been father-in-law, flaunting my bump.

His eyes looked frantic for a second, "Wait, Bella, I... I was wondering if we could maybe sit down and talk? I was just about to take a break? Please?"

He was pleading with me.

I found myself subconsciously nodding, "um, yeah, sure"

Alice pipped up, I'd forgot she was still even here. "Well, I'm going to go see Jazzy, see if he can take a break too" and with that she was gone in a whirl of excess energy, and sparkles. Well, maybe not literal sparkles.

Carlisle placed his hand on the small of my back and directed me to his office. Not that he needed to, I knew that stupid office well.

I made myself comfortable in a big leather chair he had in the corner, he took the other, his eyes falling apparently for the first time on my bump.

"Bella! Your pregnant!" he exclaimed.

I nodded, "yeah. Four and half months, but she's the size of a five month!"

He laughed, "God! That sounds familiar! When Esme was pregnant with Edward, she was two weeks ahead of schedule! The doctors and everyone was preparing us for an early labour, and we didn't go hardly anywhere for weeks, just in case she went into labour! In the end she was two weeks late from the original due date" He laughed through out the entire story, yet when he realised he was talking about his deceased son, his laugh trailed off.

"Sorry"

I shook my head, "No, it's good to hear you still talk about him. It's been a little stiff at home with everyone biting their tongues to keep from mentioning something that everyone else doesn't want to hear. How are you holding up, by the way?"

He shrugged and nodded a little, "it's hard" he admitted, "you just aren't meant to lose your own children before yourself"

I didn't say anything, just gave a small smile.

"Esme's still not coping very well, but she's on the mend, she kissed me today which is progress"

Another nod.

And the dreaded question.

"What about you?"

I scoffed a laugh, then realised it was inappropriate, "sorry. Um, no, not well. It's really hard with Rose, and all their history, and she's just gone off the rails with it all. The way she's acting, you'd think they were still together" I shook my head and cringed.

"He was my best friend, Carlisle, we shared everything. I loved him very much, and miss him even more" I stated. I loved him much more than you would ever know, old man.

"That's kind of why I wanted to talk to you"

My eyes shot to his, had I said that last bit aloud? I got myself prepared to back track, when he shocked me with his next statement.

"I've been talking to Rose"

"What?" Huh? What did that bitch say?

"Apparently a ring was found in his car. We theorised that he must have been seeing a girl behind our backs, keeping it a secret, but we think he wanted this girl to have this ring" he constantly studied my face while he talked. "We discussed this with Tanya, and it was true, and in fact he'd already proposed and was going to give her the ring when he got back" his voice fell quiet, "it was the reason he was coming back early"

I nodded, yes the officer had told us that, that wasn't new news to me, but it still hurt.

"You agree?" Carlisle asked, surprised.

I nodded, "yeah, I knew about it"

Carlisle frown and sighed, "um, Esme and I have discussed it, and we want to have a memorial service for him, not a funeral"

There was a sharp intake of breath, and I recognised it as my own, but didn't realise it was actually me.

"Esme doesn't want to completely give up hope that someway, somehow he survived, because there was no body, but it would have been impossible for him to be out there all this time without seeking medical attention..."

I got what he was saying, if he had survived there was no way he'd still be alive.

"And we want to invite Edward's fiancé"

"Whoa? What?"

"Edward's fiancé? You know who it is!"

I nodded, then quickly shook my head, "No, no I don't!"

"You're a terrible liar, you know?"

I rolled my eyes. "Please, Carlisle, can't you just leave it? She's having a hard enough time as it is!"

"I want to give her the ring!" he butted in, fishing a black box from his trouser pocket.

I looked at the ring that was identical to the one in my video. I covered my mouth with my hand. This was not how I wanted to be shown it for the first time. I should have jumped up and down and screamed yes, and then made love to Edward. Instead, I was on the verge of tears and hyperventilating.

"She doesn't want to be known" I whispered quietly, only to see Carlisle face crumple, "but I can sure give it to her, if you'd like, that way she'll always have that last token of his love"

Carlisle stared at the ring for an eternity, before closing it. I reached out and took it from him.

"I'll see her tonight, and give it to her" I lied.

His eyes however were focused solely on my wrist. Edwards cuff.

"That was Edward's?" he asked, yet it was more of a statement. Edward wore it 24/7, so he knew all about it.

I twisted it back and forth. "Yeah, he left it in my room before he left, I figured..." I looked up at him, "I mean, if you'd like it back, I'd gladly..."

Carlisle smiled, "No, it yours, I have no want for it. I'd just never seen the writing on it before!"

I froze. Oh. My. God! He knew, he'd seen my name, before Cullen, and under Edwards.

"He was so fond of that thing, but I'm surprised he actually engraved his name onto it!" The amusement on his face made even me laugh.

"I know, right!" we both laughed together. It was free, and easy, and I think I wanted to leave it on a good note.

"I should be going" I kindly said, "let you get back to your patients!"

He nodded, "probably an idea"

"It was good to see you! I think I should go see Esme, cheer her up, we can talk babies"

Carlisle nodded, "please!"

We shared another smiled at each other and as I started to rise, Carlisle talked again.

"Before you leave, may I ask, who's the father?" Carlisle motioned towards the bump.

I shook my head, "I can't Carlisle, I'll, um, get back to you on that one"

Carlisle frowned, "Bella?" he said in that fatherly scorn he'd used on me so many times.

"Look Carlisle, I'm working on it. It's not as simple as it should be. But the father and I were very much in love"

"Does he know?" Carlisle asked as I forced myself up and headed for the door.

The look on my face must have told him the words I couldn't say, no, he didn't know.

"Goodbye Carlisle" I said coldly, my hand turning the door handle, and walking out.

"For fuck sake, Bella, you have to tell him!" he yelled at me as I walked down the corridor.

That stopped me, tears welling in my eyes. How I wished I could have Edward back just for one minute, just to let him know on the little magical miracle we'd made together out of love.

"I can't Carlisle!" I burst out yelling.

"Why the fuck not?" he yelled back in the same decibel.

"Because he's dead!"

Carlisle reeled back, steadying himself against the doorframe at my admission. And the sympathy in his eyes was evident.

"GOD DAMMIT CARLISLE! You had to push didn't you!" the tears were streaming down my face by now.

I got out of there as quickly as my legs could carry me, and slumped down next to Alice's car.


	7. Chapter 7

**Another day... another chapter... If you hadn't guessed already, it's all already typed and finished, except for the last chapter, that need a little tweaking... So I feel compleled to tell you that theres only about ten chapters in this little diddy, and now that we're on chapter seven... well you get the gist of it.**

**Without any adue... _mothers group_... :) **

* * *

Alice took no notice of my blotchy face and red eyes, just unlocked the car and jumped on in, before checking her watch, before looking like she was doing some calculation in her head, and by the time I'd fastened my seatbelt, she'd smiled, shrugged and had her hands on the wheel.

I rolled my eyes at my friend's strange habits and leant my head back and closed my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep because I had no idea were we were when the car stopped.

I rubbed my eyes but it didn't make it any better, all I could make out was the little gravel car park where we'd parked, and a little building off to the side, tucked a way into the trees. It didn't look like Fork's anymore, more like La Push. I remembered La Push well, but hadn't been there in years, not since I'd gone away to college.

"Where the hell are we Ali?"

The evil damn pixie just smirked at me. She SMIRKED at ME!

"Oh, stop the freak out Bells, they won't murder you!"

"And who are they?"

Alice leapt from the car before she answered.

I groaned and concluded I had to follow her. So, I hauled my body from the car and followed her.

She walked ahead of me, and ducked agilely into the building before I could interrogate. The sight before me was horrendous.

"Mothers group?" I hissed into her ear, taking in the women lounging on the couches, one breastfeeding, another bottle feeding, another gently bouncing a tiny baby in her arms, lulling it to sleep.

And she had the nerve to smile at me!

A russet skinned woman came bounding up to us, "Alice?" she asked in a questioning tone.

Alice nodded excitedly, "and you must be Bella" she was so a mother, it wasn't funny. Her motherly energy was so comforting, and nurturing. Lucky fucking baby to have her as a Momma.

I nodded under her gaze.

"Yay!" she smiled.

Yay? Seriously? I shot a 'your-so-going-to-die-when-we-get-out-of-here' look.

"So, if you want to come on in, make yourselves comfortable, and chat and what not, please feel free. Tea and coffee are in the kitchen, help yourselves" And then she turned and walked back to the group.

Alice bounded behind her, and I zombied behind Alice. _Feed me brains_. I _may _have giggled slightly to myself at the thought. Alice _may _have heard and rolled her eyes at me.

"Everyone, this is Alice and Bella, Alice and Bella, this is everyone" she introduced, pointing both Alice and I out.

Yeah, that was helpful!

I took the opportunity of an open seat and flopped down on it.

"I'm Kim" the girl at the other end of the couch thrust her hand forward to shake mine.

"Bella"

"So, how far along are you?"

"Four and a half" I smiled, "but she's _acting_ like a five months! You know what their like at that age!" I said sarcastically appauled, in a mock stagewhisper.

She laughed, so carefree.

"What about you? How old is this bundle of joy?" I smiled at the baby boy in blue.

"3 months! They grow up so quick! I'll be shipping him off to college before I know it!"

My mouth hung open, one because her 3 month old was still so tiny, and two because, this complete stranger, continued with my joke. I liked her.

"He's so small" I commented.

She nodded, "yeah, um, my husband was killed in Iraq, and the day of the funeral, I went into premature labour almost two months early"

I gasped, "Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry" I squinted an eye to Alice, and shifted closer to Kim, "um, Kim, this isn't some widow's mothers group is it?"

Kim looked at me, and laughed, "no, not at all. The rest of them have perfect husbands and partners that they complain about constantly!"

I nodded, and blew out a sigh in relief. "Thank god, I don't think I could deal with everyone grieving"

Kim lowered her eyes, "do I want to know what happened to the baby-daddy?"

I shrugged, "he was going to propose, he was in New York, and he decided at the last minute he couldn't bare to wait any longer. In hindsight, I wish he had, we'd probably still be here with me" I looked at her tear rimmed eyes, "he wrapped his car around a tree, they never found his body. And he didn't know"

She shook her head. "That sucks" she said honestly.

I agreed. Yes, yes it did.

The noise of the door being opened and closed again, and a child's giggle sent us all looking that way.

"Jake's here" Kim smiled. "Our Mr Sunshine!"

The man walked in smiling, a little boy on his hip, a huge nappy/man bag on his other.

"EM-LY" the little boy wriggled out of Jake's arms' and tottered over to Emily. "Hi Junior!" she kissed his chubby cheek and he wrinkled his nose. "Hello Jacob"

This Jake man, who looked awfully familiar smiled at her, kissed her cheek, "hey Cus"

And then when he actually turned our way, and his eyes fell on me. His face contorted, as did mine.

"Isabella? _No_! Isabella! Swan! Bella Swan" He stated in confidence.

"Jacob Black!" I hauled my arse up, "how the hell are you?" I asked, taking him into a huge hug.

"Not bad, not bad" he laughed, the vibrations shaking our bodies, "what about you?"

I shrugged, "been better"

He let go of me and looked down at my bump, before laying his hands on it. "Congratulations" he whispered, "who's the lucky guy?"

My smiled faltered, "he died"

The usual happened, was everyone so predictable? He said sorry, gave me a hug and looked sympathetic.

And then the shocker...

"I know how it feels, my wife died of cancer" my jaw dropped, and I looked over to the cute little boy playing with other kids. I saw his eye line was in the same direction. "She gave her life for him" he whispered.

And cue the tears. And the more he explained, the more I cried. Apperently he and his wife, Alanna, had met first semester of college, and by the second, they were newlyweds and desperately trying to have a baby.

"Lana was so sure that her whole aim in life was to be a mother, and I loved her so much that I went along with it. When we didn't fall pregnant the first month, then the second, then the third, she was starting to get worried, but we kept trying and by the next year she was pregnant. It was at one of her check-ups that they got wind of the cancer in her blood. She was devestated. We both were, but in the end she decided that she wouldn't abort the baby to get the treatment. I desperately tried to talk her out of it, that we'd have more childern after the chemo, but she had to be alive for that! And you know what she told me?"

I shook my head, wrapped up in his life.

"She told me that it was her destiny in life to be a mother, and she knew that her time on this earth was never going to be for long. She said that she was meant to get in, have the most precious baby, and then get out again. And I simply bawled at that, as I curled up in her lap. But she said it was her destiny, so where was I to argue with her. She held Jay once, after she gave birth, and coded after she kissed him, and kissed me, and she was gone"

A single tear ran down his cheek, all the while I sobbed, watching his face.

Kim had left the seat, and Jake settled us both on there.

I wept fiercely into his shoulder; all the while he simply rubbed my back and cooed comforting words into my ear.

"Where did everyone go?" I asked huskily, noticing the now empty room.

Jake smiled, "they know that when someone cries with me, it's time to evacuate. They're probably on the jungle-gym outside"

I looked into his bloodshot eyes and realised he'd actually been crying with me. "Oh, Jake, I'm sorry" I rubbed his cheek with my thumb, while I cupped his face.

He simply laughed at me. "Geez Bella! Stop, please, you'll set me off again!"

I nodded, but left my hand where it was, gently caressing his face. The prickle from his stubble scratched roughly against my palm, and my thumb traced all over the contour of his cheek bone.

He was so different from before.

My father and his father had been the best of friends, so we had, evidentially, spent our childhoods in each others shadows. But it was at fifteen, at a beach party, we'd been dared to kiss. And kiss we did!

* * *

I looked to Jake in reassurance; he'd smirked and nodded eagerly which made me giggle. It had been strange and awkward edging closer and closer to each other, knowing what we were about to do, we had been practically siblings for years, but as soon as our lips touched sparks flew, fireworks popped, and this chaste little kiss got increasingly heated. There were masses of tongue, boob touching, and panting, until one of Jake's friends let out a howl, and another laughed 'Get a room'.

When we finally broke apart, breathing heavily due to lack of oxygen, we both looked at each other and burst into fits of giggles. He had my cherry gloss smeared all over his mouth, and I was sure that I probably looked the same.

He stood and held his hand out for me. I took it, and looked at him questioningly while I was hauled to my feet.

'Come on, I want to show you something' he'd whispered into my ear.

He slung his arm around my neck, and we proceeded to walk away from the bon-fire and group of our friends, cat-calls and whooping chasing us further down the beach.

'Where are you taking me, Jake?' I laughed, while he picked up the speed and started to run.

I was exhausted by the time he decided to stop. Before me was a pillar of rocks.

'Seriously? Jake?' I looked at the sight before me and raised my eyebrows.

He laughed, 'just follow would you woman?' and started clambering over the rocks.

'Is this how it's going to be Jakey? You just telling me what to do?' I tried to say in a straight face, all authoritatively, but my giggle ruined it.

He looked at me, 'are you finished yet?'

I rolled my eyes, but in the darkness I doubted he could see. 'Yeah, on my way'

And at that, I lost sight of him as he ducked around the last bit of rocks.

After an infinite number of scratches and scraps, I finally reached Jake, and if I hadn't been breathing so hard, the sight would have taken my breath away.

'It's a lagoon?' I almost shouted.

He nodded, 'and it's warm!' He threw off his shirt, and pants and stood before me in his boxer briefs. 'Coming'

I took in his delicious body, how the hell had I not seen that before? I nodded stiffly.

He ran into the water leaving me still standing there. I curled the sand through my toes, and built up my courage. Holding my boy shorts in place, I rolled my jeans down my legs. Jakes head popped up from beneath the water.

'Go away, you!' I shooed him, he laughed, and ducked back under the water again.

I shrugged off my check shirt, and played at the hem of the singlet, wondering how far to go with this.

Plucking courage from thin air, I pulled the black singlet over my head, then quickly unclasped my bra and let it fall too in the heap of clothes.

I walked to the waters edge slowly; my arms crossed strategically, my own hands cupping my breasts.

Jacob's head popped up, and then he stood. Beads of glittering silvered water rolled off his body, and the weight of saturated fabric caused his boxes to by riding lower on his hips than usual, giving a spectacular view of the 'V' he'd established.

His mouth hung slightly open.

One foot in front of the other, the water lapped up my legs. The silence was deafening. My heartbeat thundering.

I reached Jake, him still statue-still.

With a deep breath, I let go of my girls, and traced his cheek with my thumb, snaked my arm around his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine.

The kiss was hot and passionate and messy and dirty.

I broke off first, gasping for breath.

Jake held me like I was the most priceless piece of artwork known to man kind, both his hands pressed firmly against my bare back. He kissed down my throat, over my shoulder bone, and all over my breasts.

I couldn't suppress the moans that where coming from me if you paid me. They were involuntary and completely wanton.

We both bought each other to our peaks that night, although we did not have sexual relations. That night. Although, we didn't stay virgins for long.

* * *

As I looked into Jakes eyes now, so filled with knowing, all wise, I instantly regretted him having to go through what he did.

"I am so sorry, Jakey, you should have never have had to have gone through that" my voice was no better than a whisper.

He shook his head, "I remember the good times, the joy and love she had for junior. She always told me, even on her deathbed, that 'I don't regret this decision, and you damn well better not either'. I can't regret this Bella, I have to learn, and love again" his voice went a little quieter, "I think you should too"

I couldn't look away. The fire in his eyes, it was just like when we were young, having sex on the beach, hoping that we didn't get caught. Finally I nodded.

"Time, Jake, I need time"


	8. Chapter 8

**Just a short little chapter... no one commented on my introduction to Jakey-boi in WF! D: - thats my serious sad face people... :(**

**Anywho... I simply can't resist posting more! :) **

* * *

His small grin was almost infectious, now I had to look away.

He tucked a little bit of hair behind my ear, and I felt his hot breath on my neck. I couldn't help but lean slightly towards him, arching my head away, giving him easy access to my neck.

"I can give you all the time you need" came his whisper, and I gentle kiss on my neck which gave me goose bumps.

I stood abruptly, "it was nice seeing you again, Jacob" I said formally, and automatically, my hand rubbing my neck which felt scorched and very, very noticeable.

He smirked, "and you, Bella. May I call you?"

The back doors swung open and closed with a squeak and a clunk, and there stood Emily and Alice, Emily towering over Alice's small frame. Both had bemused looks on their faces.

Before I could answer, my own whole world shifted.

"Offt" I grunted at the sensation.

My eyes went wide, and face lit up. Before I could think, I grabbed Jake's hand and forced it on my belly, the same stop where Ness had kicked before.

His curious expression was sated when another little bump hit our hands.

He smiled up at me like the proud father he wasn't. I would have given the world to have spent that tiny moment of joy with Edward, but to spend it with Jake's hand on my skin was close enough to happiness.

"She kicked" I squealed, "about bloody time Nessie, you've kept me waiting long enough!" I almost cried.

Jakes hand caressed my skin for a moment, and let go gently, as if not to break the strings that attached us.

"Yeah, you can call. Same number" I blushed as Jake laughed.

"You are so predictable!"

I smiled, nodded, and turned to walk out the door.

"Bye Tinkerbells" he called behind me.

I turned, mouth gaped open in disgust at his nickname for me when we were Peter-pan and Tinkerbelle, when we were together. Of which I hadn't heard in years.

He simply winked at me.

I shook my head, "it's time to grow up, Lost Boy. Cause this time, we're not messing around" It was a warning and a promise. When I was healed, I would love him, I would invite him into my bed, he would be Nessie's father. And he had to know what he was getting himself into.

I didn't dare look back, just led myself to Alice's car.

"What was that all about?"

I pulled my face off the passenger side window, and faced her, "pardon?"

"Don't you act dumb with me!" she threatened.

I rolled my eyes, "Jake is a very old friend. We grew up together, and were 'together' together for some time"

"_And_?"

"Geez, Alice, I haven't seen him in years, his wife died, he has a kid... please, just leave me with this"

Alice looked taken aback, "okay..." she said in a small voice, "sorry"

"Oh, Alice, no, I'm sorry" I squeezed her knee, "thankyou for taking me there today!"

She smiled, "I felt you'd like it" she cocked an eyebrow at me, "so, Jake?"

I laughed, "you just can't leave it can you! Um, Jake and I were together from when we were fifteen, through to when we turned nineteen, and had to leave for college. He stayed in the Rez, I obviously went to Seattle..."

"So, he knew Edward and Rose and stuff?"

I thought back to that time, you would think that along the way the best friend, and boyfriend would meet. "No, he never knew him. It was a little awkward, somewhat us and them at stages. I would hang out with Edward and Rose all week with school and shit, and then on the weekends, it would be me and Jake, and it would be our time. Everyone just got their allocated time, and was satisfied with that"

Alice whistled, "you had a four year relationship, and your best friends never met the guy?"

I shook my head, "Rose met him a couple times when we went to movies or parties, but Edward was never with us. It seems strange, huh?"

Ali shrugged, "s'pose so, doesn't really matter any more huh?"

I shook my head again. "No, s'pose it doesn't"


	9. Chapter 9

**Lordy lordy, I'm so sorry I took so long! :( **

**There's only one more chapter (that isn't completely finished yet, but it only really need editing), and then a epiloge, which is proving v difficult to write silly thing! **

**I'm kind of sad that it's all out there too... **

**Never mind... lots of 3 **

**Jess**

* * *

It was my eight month, and I was fucking _huge_. Rose and my relationship was still strained, but we were at least talking. Not much, but we were. Her and Emmett's relationship was always up and down, and completely sideways during others, and I'd walked in on them, you know, _copulating_, to many times to count, and was unfortunately able to say was kind of used to it. Alice and Jasper were still going strong, and she was now starting to complain how hard it was to fall pregnant, I had to scoff a laugh, and tell her she was trying too hard. She simply looked at me, raise an eyebrow, and bounced off to 'practice' some more. Sure there was plenty of sex in this house, and none of it was happening to me!

Edwards ring was permanently fixed to my neck with a long chain, so the ring fell on the bump, and was easy to conceal. Esme and Carlisle were still on a 'I-love-you-but-I-sure-as-hell-don't-want-to-talk-to-you' connection, as well as Carlisle in suspicion that it was Edward's baby in my tummy. I never did go to see Esme, and talk 'Babies', and I still felt guilty about it.

The police worked long and hard on Edward's case, and about three months ago, they'd found a decayed body, male, 6"4', and the time of death was at least two months before that. The police proclaimed finally it was Edward. The funeral was agonising, even after all that time. Jake literally held me flush to his body just to keep me upright. I'd told him everything, how Edward was Nessie's father, and how our relationship was so taboo, it was a secret, so he knew how hard it was for me. Esme and Carlisle stood on the other side of the grave, Esme wrapped in Carlisle's arms, just as I was in Jake's. When both parents walked forward throwing dirt, then white rose petals on Edward coffin, her eyes rose and she looked straight at me. She then disconnected the hold Carlisle had on her hand and took mighty strides around the grave before the group of people gathered to say a final goodbye to Edward. When she stood in front of me, she gave a small smile.

'I want you to go next' she whispered to me, clutching my hands in hers in front of my stomach.

I nodded, and Jake let me go into the capable hands of my would be mother-in-law.

She lead me around the grave, forced the dirt into my hands and let me sprinkle it gently on the coffin, just as she had, in my own time. Then handed me the bowl of petals.

With a shaky hand, I gently engulfed a handful. They were all white when I took the handful but when I looked again, there was one deep red rose petal right at the bottom of the bowl. I dropped the white petals, and fished out the one red rose petal. Holding it between my fingers, it felt like velvet. I let it go into the grave, watching as it floated so gently down, and into the darkness, like the white feather at the start of 'Forrest Gump'. When I looked into the grave again, the petal had landed right in the middle of the cross on the coffin. And a sense of peace took over my body. It was as if Edward was right there with me, wrapping his strong arms around me. I looked over to Esme, whose eyes were watering again, she took my shoulder, in her hand, and kissed my cheek. I was certain now she knew everything. And when I went back to Jake, and he wrapped me up again, she still stared at me smiling.

I'd attended the Mother's group weekly, and had started seeing Jake as well on the side. We hadn't let any one know yet. Not that there was anything too tell. It was like we were back in grade school, with our first partners. 'Yeah, that's my boyfriend/ girlfriend... No, I do not touch/kiss/hold hands with Him/ Her'. And Jake was acting plain weirdly.

His hand ghosted over my stomach for the umpteenth time as we lounged on a coffee shop couch. We had long since finished the cups and were asked if we wanted refills, but we courteously declined and simply made use of their very worn, very comfortable couches.

"You know, this would be more comfortable at your home!" I pushed again, running my fingers through Jacob Jr's dark locks as his head lay on my lap, completely asleep, and dead to the world, "we could actually put Jay-jay down?"

He sighed and shook his head, "nah, he's comfortable here"

I groaned, "_Ja-ake_!"

"_Bella-a_!" he whined back, in the same mocking tone.

"Is there something wrong with your place? Are you living in a cave or something?"

He groaned again. "Look, Bella, if I tell you something, that you can't tell anyone else, especially not Alice, or Rose or _anyone_... can I trust you?"

I looked at him, and then to Jay-jay, "Jake, you're not into something illegal are you? I mean, I can understand if you need money or what-not, but think about Jay, he needs you here, not in prison" I hissed in a hushed whisper, "I need you here"

Jake looked at me, too shocked for words for the moment, "uh, no, it's nothing like that. Well, I hope he's not illegal"

"Pardon? _He_?" I gasped.

My gasp had been louder than I assumed, and our conversation was drawing attention.

"Wanna just get out of here for a while?" he quickly asked.

I nodded gratefully. Jake quickly picked his son up from my lap. He was so cute there, curled up next to my bump, almost cuddling it.

I pushed myself up and stretched out a little. "Ungh"

Jake looked at me, smirking as I poked at my belly, "wake-y wake-y Nessie?" he asked with a laugh.

I glared at him, "I swear, this baby thinks my bloody bladder is her own personal pillow! One day, I will pee on you"

He laughed as I waddled my way to the bathroom to pee.

As I sat on the toilet, I heard the bathroom door open and close, and the taps being turned on before another woman entered the lone stall next to my own.

"It was Bella that was sitting next to the black dude, wasn't it!" a familiar voice cut in.

"I believe so. I still feel sorry for the poor girl; she and Edward were best friends, like brother and sister! I don't know what I'd do if I lost Mike like that, so many questions too"

Oh my god! And I only thought this happened in bad chick flicks and corny movies, apparently not. My gut ached; I didn't want to hear what else they had to say about me. Pulling my undies up, and my dress down, the annoying voice came again.

"I bet they were fuck buddies"

"WHAT? Lauren, you're way off! I remember Edward and Bella, and Edward was smitten by Rosalie, I mean who wouldn't, I'd fuck her if she'd offered. No, if they were ever going to get together, it would have been in high school, and I can guarantee you, that never happened"

The annoying one, Lauren, laughed, "don't see why she didn't, he was a hot piece of arse, I'd of ridden him if he was still alive"

The one in the toilet finally flushed hers and I decided to flush at the same time.

"You just about have 'ridden' everybody"

I unlocked the door, and slowly stepped out into the harsh fluorescent lights, heading towards the sinks.

Lauren almost gagged on the gum she was chewing with her mouth open, as I stood up against her and washed my hands.

"Bella?" The other girl asked.

Jess. That was her name, "Jess?"

She nodded, and gave a little chuckle, "we were just talking about you, but I guess you heard that, huh!"

I nodded, she seemed much nicer than when I knew her at school, we never really talked back then. "Nice rock" I commented, about the ring on her finger.

"Thanks, Mike and I got engaged!" she smiled with so much love in her eyes. "Nice bump, congrats!"

I rolled my eyes while still smiled, ignoring Lauren who proceeded to hack her guts up, coughing. "Thanks, not as shiny as that though!"

She shrugged, "give me kids any day, I can't..." the smile on her face faltered slightly, "well, shit happens"

I reached out, and took her in my arms, "I'm so sorry"

She shook her head, "no, its fine, Mike and I are already looking at adoption, and surrogates, and the rest of the necessary legal crap that comes with it!"

With her at arms length, we both smiled at each other, when I felt Ness coming back to life, "Here" I took her hand and pressed it gently against my skin, "wait for it..."

Jess's face lit up at the feeling of Ness kicking her palm.

"Oh my gosh" she looked elated, "that is amazing"

"I know, right, and she's finally got off my bladder!" I smiled, "I mean, I knew pregnant women had to pee a lot, but give me a break!"

We laughed together, it was nice and easy.

"Anyway, I gotta get back to my friend; it was nice to see you again!"

She nodded, "Yeah it was. I not as bitchy anymore, so, give me call, we'll have some coffee"

I nodded, "I'd like that"

I walked past Lauren, "Lauren" I said in acknowledgement, so she couldn't bitch I'd ignored her. She forced a smile, and gave a chopped wave.

I took the metal handle in my hand and started to pull.

"Bella?" Jess's voice asked, "I was really sorry to hear about Edward, it was a real shock to the system, I think it spurred Mike to propose sooner. I sent a card to Dr and Mrs Cullen, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss, I know you two were the best of friends!"

I smiled at her, "Thankyou, I appreciate it"

I was still wiping my wet hands on the skirt of my dress when I caught up with Jake and Jay-jay, "What did you do in there, cure cancer or something?"

"Har har. No, I got bitched about, then had a lovely conversation with an old school friend" I took his hand, and watched as Jess walked out with her head held high, giving me another wave, while Lauren slunk behind her.

Jake just shook his head in amazement, adjusted Jay who still slept soundly on his chest, and tightened his grip on mine as we walked out the door.

"Now about this situation you have at home?"

Jake nodded, "well..." his face contorted and he thought, "ok, I can't sugar coat stuff for you Bell, I just can't. I have a man living in my house"

"A man?"

"Yes, a man. You know how my father is the reserves medicine man?" he looked at me, trying to figure how I was reacting.

"Yeah, he's also a doctor" I said, as if the medicine man part was more important.

"Yeah, true, but mainly to my people he's a medicine man. He uses more natural remedies that have been passed from generation to generation" he looked at me and frowned, "I'm getting off track..."

I had to laugh, "not hard to do, Jake"

He ignored the jibe, "any who, one day, a couple of months ago, he was collecting... stuff..." he looked exasperated already, "and came across a man"

"This dude, he was in a bad way, Billy carried him to the house. I thought he was a goner. I dumped Jay at Emily's house and rushed back to help Billy. I figured it was best to call the hospital, and get him there, but Billy, he was so sure that he was meant to help the poor guy" his brow furrowed and tucked his bottom lip into his mouth, "he said that he'd had a premonition that it was it was only his remedies that could cure the guy, and if we got him to the hospital, mistakes would happen, the guy would die. He said that the man's life was held in his hands"

Looking straight ahead, I tried to process the information, "did... did he survive?"

Jake shook his head, and my stomach dropped, "that man fought for weeks, we revived him countless times. It was exhausting to say the least, and by the third week, he was stable, and regained consciousness"

I smiled, tears prickling my eyes.

"And he's been getting gradually better since then. It's been a long process though, and he's scarred for life, but the worst thing is that he had no memory of what has happened"

We finally reached the car, and Jake buckled Jay into his car seat.

"So, what's the big deal? Is he violent or something?" I asked, buckling my own seat belt.

Jake shook his head, "No, nothing like that. When he got somewhat conscious, the only thing he could say was 'beh', Billy and I assumed he was trying to say his name, so we sat him down one day and explained to him what had happened, and did he know his name? He just broke down in tears, his speech was broken, he was frustrated all the time because he didn't know what anything was, so we asked him if we could call him 'Ben', because it was the name he'd been saying before. And he told us it still didn't feel right, but it would do"

"And that's why I can't come to your house, because you have a patient?" I asked, slightly frustrated.

"No, it's just... this guy, he has scars all over him, and he hasn't seen another human apart from Billy and I for months, I don't know what he'd do if he saw you!"

"Jake, that's bullshit" I burst.

He did a quick check to make sure Jay was still asleep and looked back at me with a frown on face, "what the hell Bella?"

"That's total bullshit! More faces is exactly what that guy need, he needs to start merging back into the world, not being hidden away in a tiny house on the edge of the forest"

Jake started the car and shook his head.

"Where are we going?" I asked after a minute and leaving the small reserve town.

"I'm taking you home Bella"

"No, damn it, that guy needs socialising!" I yelled, then stopped. We were out of town, and I was busting to pee.

"Bugger" I hissed, my lip stuck in my teeth, we were at least fifteen minutes from my home.

"Bella?" Jake finally asked, "is everything okay?"

I shook my head, "Jake... I need to pee"

He looked at me, "again?"

"Jake don't tempt me, how far are we from your house? Cause if you make me pee in the forest I will not be happy"

He looked conflicted, then looked at my desperate face, "you're not kidding?"

"Do I kid about peeing?" I growled.

"Okay, okay, can you last three minutes?"

I nodded, "just hurry up"

That three minutes were agony, I tortured myself by not being able to think of anything except that instant release you get when you finally are able to let go. I squirmed and wiggled, crossing and uncrossing my legs, and then Ness decides to pay with it too.

"Oh, hell" I moaned, poking her off it.

"we're here!" Jake said, stopping the car in front of the gate, "go, you know where it is. And if you see Ben, just keep going, please!"

I nodded, almost leaping from the car. What did he think I was stupid or something, I was going to stop for no body, until after my arse was on that toilet seat. I could have sworn my moan of elation could be heard for miles, after the slam of the bathroom door.

Washing my hands, and drying them properly this time, I wandered out and flopped on his old couch, smiling.

"Make yourself at home!" he jibed.

"I cannot believe you still have this old thing!" I laughed, banging the cushions on either side of me.

He laughed, and flopped next to me, "so many memories, I couldn't help but keep it"

"I want to say sorry" I said quietly, "you know what you're doing regarding Ben, I shouldn't have got so riled up"

He placed a finger on my lips, "shush, I don't care"

He started to lean in closer to me, "I want to try something, but you have to stay very still"

I small smile played at my lips, "okay" This was it, the big shebang!

It felt like minutes passed, until his lips gently touched mine. Slowly the kiss became more, his tongue sweeping over my bottom lip caused me to open my mouth, and his tongue then entered there. I curled my fingers in his hair, trying to make it so much more than it was. After a few seconds, we both broke apart.

I looked in his face, he was torn.

"Well..." he started,

"That was awkward!" I finished, laughing at the situation.

"And so wrong!" he laughed with me.

"Oh Jake" I laughed, falling on him, "can we still be friends?"

His laugh rumbled through my body, "of course" and then we simply laid there, me, on top of him, in his arms.


	10. Chapter 10

**So comes to the end of WF, I'm really attached to this story too :')**

**A huge thankyou to all who review and left me the love, it was great actually hearing what you thought about my story :) **

**On a completely relatable unrelated subject of pregnant women, I had completely rationalised having a baby by the end of this (at my age, and at the start of a uni degree, and living in uni housing, and no job, and and and... trust me the rationalisation went up in smoke after I talk to my friends the next morning... I still sneak peak at baby clothes tho... too cute!) Anywho, I now no longer have to have my own. My sister-in-law is expecting :D! Which means that I can simply enjoy the good bits of her pregnancy, and the little munchkin to come, and leave the nappy's to her and my brother :) lol. So, in light of this, i have, on the last chapter of this story, decided to dedicate this to the little one not yet in this world. May he/she have enough :) **

**anywho... happy endings**

* * *

The padding of footsteps caused Jake to look up, however, in the position I was in it was too awkward to sit up.

"Ben!" Jake's voice almost yelled.

"Awe, shit, man, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you had someone over" The voice sent chills down my spine.

I leapt up, as quick as a pregnant woman can leap, and looked into a face I knew so well. His hair was longer, and cuts from the accident had caused scars in his silky skin, but he was here. He was alive.

My heart thundered in my chest. I clutched my hand over it as if not to let it beat straight out of my chest. I was panting and crying at the sight of him.

"Edward?" I asked him surprisingly calm; maybe, just maybe this would trigger his memory.

He looked at me for a minute; his eyebrows frowned in confusion, "Bella! Your name is Bella!"

I nodded, "do you remember me?" I asked hopefully.

He looked at me blankly. "No, just that your name is Bella. Do you know me?"

I almost burst out laughing, praying that this wasn't a dream, I wasn't going to just wake up and he was still gone.

"Yes, Edward, I know you. I know you very well!" I looked to Jake, still on the couch.

"Edward? As in '_Edward'_ Edward?" he asked, propelling himself forward.

I nodded, "We thought you were dead" I told him, "You have a mother, and a father, and a whole bunch of friends who love you and miss you dearly"

Edward furrowed his brow, and ran his fingers through his hair. He was completely and utterly silent before tears started streaming from his weary eyes. "I can't... I can't remember them" he sobbed.

I walked around the couch and took his hand in my own, threading my fingers through his. "I know, and that's okay, because I'm here to help!"

"I... I don't know how, and I don't know wh-y..." his voice broke a little, "but I love you so much, and I don't even know you!" he sobbed harder, completely and utterly confused and bewildered.

"Shh, I know" I snaked my way around his neck and pulled him close, allowing him to sob into my shoulder, and allowing me to take in his scent completely, and it was as intoxicating as ever.

For an age we stood there, sobbing.

"Do you need to take some time by yourself for a bit?" I asked quietly, "maybe let this all sink in?"

He thought about it and nodded, "Um, yeah..." and he turned and walked out of the room.

Seeing him walk away again, made my breath hitch in my throat, and I finally and completely broke down.

"Shh, it's all alright now" Jake's warm voice cooed, rubbing up and down my back.

"Thankyou Jake" I cried into his shirt, "thankyou so much" and I repeated that thankyou over and over, still sobbing.

Finally my eyes ran dry, my breathing returning to normal. And I wondered what to do from here.

"Oh my God, Jake, I have my Edward back" I whispered to him.

"I know" he whispered back.

"What am I going to do? Do I call his parents? Our friends? The Police?"

Jake's hand wandered over my back, "Bell, I think you should ask Be Edward"

I looked up at him, "bedward?" I laughed.

"Sorry, I thought Edward, and said Ben"

I rolled my eyes, "tell me this isn't a dream"

Jake's rumbling laugh shook my body, "Bell, you couldn't dream this sort of shit!"

I laughed at his honesty, and the bemused expression on his face. "I got my Edward back" I whispered to myself.

Jake dropped me home late in the evening. And I was still on cloud nine.

I talked with Edward after a lot had sunk in. We both agreed to let everyone know in the morning, rather than tonight where it would be too much for everyone to handle, and no one would get any sleep. Instead he allowed me to call his parents and friends and organise a morning tea at his home. My stomach did flips just thinking about it.

Jake had been completely understanding with everything and let me hang out in Edward's room without any interruptions. Edward was cautious with me when he finally realised I was actually pregnant, and I think it hurt him a little, knowing how much he loved me, and yet he thought I was carrying another's child. I simply couldn't stand it, so I had to tell him all about our situation. I told him how we were the best of friends, and he said he remembered the name 'Rosalie' when I said he'd been her boyfriend during high school. I explained how simply one day we'd fallen in love, and became lovers.

His head cocked to the side, and tentatively held his shaky hand towards my stomach. I smiled, took the hand and pressed it to my bump over the fabric of my t-shirt.

"We made that?" he asked in an emotionally gravelly voice.

I nodded, "Vanessa... that's what I named her, Nessie for short"

His eyes welled again and tears streamed down his face, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you!" he choked out.

I covered his mouth with my hand and frowned at him, "Edward, you almost died! You were in a coma for weeks! Jake told me you fought and fought just to survive! I don't care that you weren't there for me, you'll be here for me now" I looked up into his emotion filled eyes, "right?"

He nodded quickly, "if you want me to be there, and you don't think I'll endanger little Nessie, of course I'll be there for you"

I pulled him into an embrace, and a small pinch pricked my stomach, "oh"

Edwards hand roamed over my stomach and had pushed on the ring, making him frown and pull back, still looking down.

I felt nervous, but kept a small smile on my face, I really couldn't help it. I fished for the chain, and gently pulled it out.

"You were going to give this to me" I slipped the chain off from around my neck and held the ring up for him to study. "But you had the accident on your way home"

He held the ring gently, "I remember this, I think" he whispered.

Silence filled the room as he continued to twist and turn the ring.

I made a sound, and his eyes flicked up to my face, "I... how did I propose?"

I laughed, "funny you should ask!"

He smiled with me, I think at the sound of me laughing. It was the one thing that hadn't changed what so ever, his smile, and how it simply lit up his face to the nth degree.

"If you ever propose to me over text again, I will kill you myself" I promised him, humour lighting my face, fumbling for my iPhone.

I gradually got to the last text he sent me, and a wave of sadness hit me. It made me shiver. And as soon as Edward saw my shiver, he quickly picked a light blanket from his bed and draped it over my shoulders, wrapping his arm around me also. I liked the later action better than the first.

"Ready?" I asked, trying to judge his reaction.

He was so hard to read now, so I just decided to jump. I pressed the play button and the sounds of lazy Sundays, beaches and love came through the tiny speakers.

'_This is the first day of my life  
I Swear I was born right in the doorway  
I went out in the rain  
Suddenly everything changed  
They're spreadin' blankets on the beach.'_

His cool breath whispered in my ear over the music. "I made this with my cousin, Tanya. She kept giggling right before we started. It took us at least five takes until she couldn't be heard. She was so excited, and I swore her to secrecy and took the next flight out of that place to come home to you"

"You remember?" I asked, turning my face to him.

"I remember you" he whispered reverently. "I love you"

"I love you too"

And gently our lips met, and fireworks exploded in the distance. This was what a kiss should feel like.

It was simple, and chaste, but beautiful and honest.

"I want you to still marry me" he whispered into my lips.

"I want to still marry you" I whispered back onto his.

He smiled, "good"

"Stop talking, more kissing" I giggled, still on his lips.

We didn't do much, simply kissed and talked. He didn't remember much more, but what he did remember was many focused on me. It was heart warming that he remembered me so much.

We ended up wrapped in each others' arms, laying on his bed, spooning so his hands had easy access to my bump which fascinated him to no end. And that's how we stayed until I heard Edwards gentle snores and realised he'd fallen asleep.

I pried myself away from him, writing him a little note to say Jake drove me home, and that he had to up and ready by 10 am to see his folks. I wrote that I loved him, and so did Nessie, and that no matter what, I'd stick by him. I gently kissed his forehead.

"Beh–" he sighed out, "Beh–Llha"

With my hand on the door handle, I willed my self not to weep again, I was sure I had no tears left. Jake said that 'Beh' was the word he work up to, and assumed his name was Ben because of it. No, it was the start of a name, sure, but it wasn't Ben. Bella that was what he must have tried to say as he awoke from his coma, my name was on his lips. If that wasn't love, I don't know what was!

Quickly and quietly I scooted out of the room, and almost ran straight into Billy.

"Billy!" I exclaimed, "thankyou so much, you do not know how much you have done for me!"

He chuckled, "my pleasure Bella, although I was hoping you'd end up with my Jake" his humour filled eyes wrinkled as he laughed a bit more.

"oh, don't worry, I plan to play match maker to Jake right after Nessie is born, mark my words, you will have more grandkids soon"

His eyes wrinkled a bit more with the widening of his smile and he leant in a bit, "I know" he laughed, "it's just a matter of making him see her"

I looked at him. I kind of knew what he was talking of. Billy had visions; I was used to him warning me about something before it happened, and sure as hell, it happened. "And she is?"

"Do you remember Leah?"

I nodded slowly, trying to picture her, "Sue's daughter" that made it 'click'.

"Of course, there was a huge fiasco with her and her boyfriend getting with her cousin when Jake and I were going out. Yeah, I remember her, nice girl, tough as steel"

He nodded, "she sure is. And she will be my daughter-in-law one of these days"

"Certain?"

His face turned dark, "as certain as I was about your man in their" he motioned towards the door,

I nodded, "alrighty, operation Jake and Leah shall commence. I'll be your right hand man, you can count on me" I joked.

He laughed again, before growing serious again, "and that little one, she'll find a good-looking young lad to complete her other half" his face may have been serious, but his eyes were dancing in amusement.

"Wha? Billy, I haven't even popped her out, do not talk to me about her wedding!" I scolded him, "so, who will be my future son-in-law?" I whispered, siding up to him.

He shook his head, "Now you decide to be tight-lipped?" I asked at his lack of speech.

He shrugged, and gave me a little nudge towards the kitchen, following me until I saw Jake.

"Home?"

"Please!" Yes, we had a one word friendship!

"Say goodnight to Bella, Jay" he nudged his son, who stood beside the sink after gulping at a glass of water.

With a plastic clunk, he put down the tumbler and ran to me. "Night Behlah" he said while wrapping his arms around my legs, "night Ness" he then whispered, rubbing small circles on my stomach as high up as he could reach, "love you" he said more to the bump than me.

Billy chuckled from the corner, and I threw him a pointed look, as little Jake scurried down the hall and into bed.

"I'm just going to drop Bell home, can you tuck him in?" Jake asked his father.

Billy nodded, "sure"

"Thanks Dad"

I finally tore my eye's off Jake's fathers' receding figure as he shuffled down the hall.

"Oh my gosh!" I moaned, following Jake outside.

"what?"

"How much do you love me?" I asked.

"Oh, um, Bell, I thought we'd agreed that it wasn't right between us, plus you have Edward and..."

I had to laugh, "no, not like that! You father pretty much just told me Jay will marry Nessie"

Jake paled, and forced a laughed, "silly old man" he murmured in response, knowing completely well Billy was anything but.

"At least the meeting the in-laws won't be awkward!"

Jake laughed at that, "if you say so Bells, but, just for now, can I let my son be my son, and your daughter be your daughter, and we'll deal with shit when it hits the fan?"

I nodded, "sure"

I gave him a quick hug when he dropped me off and waved him goodbye.

I was up early bouncing around the kitchen singing and twirling as I made my breakfast. I didn't hear Rose enter the kitchen, but she made her presence obvious with the chair's legs scraping and squealing against the linoleum floor.

"You're in a good mood this morning" she commented.

I twirled to face her, "indeed I am!"

"may I ask why?" she huffed.

"Oh my beautiful friend, I received some wonderful news, of which I will share when you come to Esme's for morning tea, bring Emmett, he'll want to know too"

Rose opened her mouth, "I can't, I have work!"

I turned to face her, "trust me, you'll want to call in sick! You do not want to miss this!"

She raised an eyebrow at me, and slowly nodded, "okay, I suppose one day can't hurt" and when to call her work.

Jasper and Alice shuffled in soon after, Jasper shirtless and arms wrapped around Alice's shoulders as they walked together.

"You know, you two are just too cute for words!" I squealed, clapping and smiling at them.

"Say no to drugs Bella!" Alice quipped, always the morning person as she fell into Rose's untucked chair, her shoulders being massaged gently by Jasper.

"You two are to be at Esme and Carlisle's by 10 this morning, and I want to hear no objections, for I have big news!" my hands rested comfortably on my bump. Both Jasper and Alice looked at me blankly, and both opened there mouth to tell me they had work.

"I said BIG NEWS now damn well call in sick!" I shouted, before taking a deep breath and composing myself.

Both looked dumb struck and murmured a version of okay.

By the time 10 o'clock came around I was jittery and bouncing in my seat, checking my watch and phone every five seconds waiting for Jake's text. We were all in Esme's beautiful formal lounge, everyone sitting with their spouse waiting on me.

"Are you alright Bella?" Esme asked gently, laying a hand on my shoulder, "do you want to share your news yet?"

I shook my head, "no, no, I'm waiting" and I checked my phone again. Nothing!

"Come on Jake!" I moaned.

"Is this to do with Jacob?" Esme pried, still rubbing my shoulder.

I looked at her, shaking my head, "No, well not really. Much bigger"

My phone vibrated and chimed and scared the hell out of me!

'_Here_' was all it stated and it was from Jake.

My excitement bubbled over as I forced myself up and ran toward the door as quick as I could.

I met up with Edward and Jake still outside. Edward seemed to be taking it all in, I suppose trying to see if it felt familiar or not.

"Baby?" I asked quietly.

His eyes shot to mine, and his face lit up into a breathtaking smile, "this was my home" he said surely, "there's a cubby house over there in the woods"

I nodded, there sure was. "Did you remember much more?"

He shrugged, "a little, Love"

I smiled, he called me Love again, I pulled him down to me, and kissed his lips once, twice, and then a third time for good measure.

"Come on, everyone's eagerly waiting for my 'big news'" I took his hand and led him in the house.

Before I could open the door to the lounge, and pulled me to a stop and forced his hand to his pocket, removing my necklace which held the engagement ring. "Bella, before we do this, I want you to wear this" he unthreaded the ring from the chain, and knelt to one knee. "My love, my only, my Bella, will you do me the honour of becoming my bride?"

I laughed, "of course, Edward, nothing would make me happier!" and with that he slid the ring onto my finger, before kissing it, then me.

"Alright Love, I'm ready when you are. Let's go" he laughed joyously.

I held my hand on the handle and looked up at him, "if at all you get overwhelmed, please just say so, and we'll excuse ourselves"

He nodded seriously, "I will"

"Remember our word?"

He laughed again, "_Fairy dust_! I remember, don't worry about that!"

I nodded at him, and opened the door, leading him in to his meet his family and friends.

We walked in the door, to meet with paled faces and awkward stares.

"Oh... um..." I never did think how I would introduce him again, "surprise?" I asked, frowning and biting my bottom lip, looking up at him.

He smiled, and gave my hand an encouraging squeeze.

There was only silence in the room.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say, um, this isn't a sick joke, or a trick. Jake's father found Edward and saved him. But Edward, he has amnesia, he doesn't remember much, so please, come and introduce yourselves"

They were all still and silent. Carlisle was the first to rise.

"Edward? I'm Carlisle" he said deeply.

Edward frowned at him before looking at me, "dad?" he guessed.

Carlisle smiled, "that's right" he held out his hand.

Edward rolled his eyes, took his hand and pulled him into one of those manly-like hugs where they hit each other on the back. Yet when it was time for Carlisle to let go, he broke down in tears. Edward whispered a soothing 'shh' into his fathers ear and rubbed his back.

"I lost you. I put you in the ground..."

"I know, Dad, I know... I'm sorry"

I place a hand on Carlisle's shoulder, and his sobs transferred from his shoulder to mine, "Oh Carlisle, this is a happy time! You have your son back!" I whispered in his ear, which set him off a little bit more.

"I gave up on him Bella, what sort of father does that make me?"

"You saw a body, the police told you he was gone, you were trying to move on... you didn't give up on him, you grieved him"

He looked straight into my eyes, and nodded, "thankyou for bringing him home"

I smiled and looked over to Edward, sobbing into his mothers shoulder, as she consoled him.

"I love him, you know" I finally said in a small voice.

He turned back to me, but I kept my eyes trained on my fiancé, and I saw in my peripheral vision my future father-in-law frown, then open his eyes wide in realisation.

Edward looked up at that moment, and smiled at me, while wiping his eyes. I realised I was tearing too, so wiped under my eye with my left hand.

And Carlisle almost choked.

"_You_?" he almost yelled in shock, "all this time we wondered who Edward's girlfriend was, and it was you?"

I smiled up at him, and nodded slowly.

"And you couldn't tell us?" the hurt in his voice was unmistakeable.

I looked around and saw everyone's eyes on me. Edward came to my rescue by letting go of his mother and coming and wrapping me in his arms.

"We had talked about it before, and because of my history with Rose we decided to keep us a secret, that of course would have changed when Bella became pregnant, and when I asked her to marry me, but then I had the accident, and it simply would have been impossible for her to come out after I was gone and claim we had this magnificent love affair and she was carrying my child, people would have thought she was nuts"

I gapped at him, "yeah, I think I remember more than you know" he whispered, making me giggle.

"Mum, Dad, I'd like to introduce you to Isabella Swan, my fiancé, my lover, and the mother to my unborn child" he proclaimed.

Both Esme and Carlisle paled, but then smiled and hugged and congratulated both of us. But it was as Esme hugged me, she whispered in my ear.

"This is a recent occurrence, isn't it? I mean, I was right to let you both stay in the same room when your father left?"

I had to laugh, "oh, Esme, yes, definitely yes! We never did _anything_ back then, we were simply the best of friends, but that changed and here we are"

She looked as if she let go of the breath she was holding, and looked awfully relieved. "Oh, good, gosh, you scared us for a minute Bella; we thought we'd been bad parents with children that were taking advantage of our good nature"

I shook my head, no. "Not at all, though Edward did help me a lot during those nights, but he simply held me, comforted me while I sobbed. It was the best gift you could have ever of given me"

Movement on the other side of the room alerted me to the presence of a very upset Rosalie.

"Oh, Rosie!" I gasped.

And she came running, and leapt into my arms, "Bella, I'm so so sorry. I was selfish and narrow minded, and only was thinking of myself. I'm surprised you haven't soccer-punched me for my actions!"

I laughed, and ran my fingers through her hair, pushing it out of the tears on her face, "Rose, trust me, it's been an effort! But you're my best friend, and believe it or not, I love you so much, that not even a little bitchiness can come between us"

She nodded, gratefully.

With my hand held firmly in hers, she turned to Edward, "do... do you remember me?"

He cocked his head to the side, "yes, somewhat?" he asked, looking to me.

I nodded, he needed the reassurance that what he was saying was right.

"We were together?" he asked, squinting at her.

She nodded this time.

He leant forward and whispered in her ear.

She flushed bright red, and glared at him. "Of all the things we did in that car, you remember that?"

He shrugged, "I loved that truck!"

I frowned at Rosalie, on the verge of asking, but she beat me to it. "On our first date, I got car-sick and vomited in his truck! That's what he asked me!"

I coughed, then burst out laughing, "Of all the things you did do in that truck, namely on the tray of that truck, that's what you remember?"

He shrugged and blushed, and shrugged again, "god, you two are going to be hell together. Alright, no, it's not the only thing, but I remember many more times riding in that truck with you, than I do with Rosalie"

I blushed, "awe, baby!" I cooed, running my hand up his arm.

I expected Rose to flip her lid, but instead she smiled, and rolled her eyes, "don't worry about it, I remember it plenty for the both of us!" she drawled out, tapping her temple.

Edward rolled his eyes, smiling. He locked eyes with someone else, and that smile instantly disappeared.

"My brother!" he choked out, pulling away from Rose and I and grabbing Jasper in a good old fashion man hug.

Jasper threw his arms around him just as fiercely.

"I missed you Man" he chocked out, slamming his fist into Edward's chest, all the while on the verge of breaking down in a complete mess.

"Jasper, Man, I'm so sorry" Edward whispered.

When Jasper finally let go, and I was sure each would have bruises on their backs from the fierce back thumping each got, they shook hands.

Alice was by my side, absentmindedly playing with the pleats on the high waisted dress she wore. She kept her eyes down, but I could hear little snivels coming from her too. I smirked and gently reached out to rub across her shoulders in support.

She looked up and me, and yes, in fact she had been crying, but she was still smiling. "I'm so happy for you!"

My smile widened and I nodded. "Thankyou"

Jasper turned our way and motioned for Alice to come beside him. "Edward, this is my future wife Alice Brandon. She's Rose's cousin and my baby-momma"

Alice thwacked him. "You douche; this is not our day for secrets like that!"

His hand rubbed his sternum when Alice had come in contact with him, but instead of the apology, he laughed. "You look beautiful, not in the slightest showing!"

Alice rolled her eyes, fiddled with the pleats again, and groaned while smoothing the fabric back down. "Hi, Edward" she smiled, "how are you?"

Another laugh from Edward, "Pixie, you look fabulous, welcome to the family, by the way" and with that he pecked her on the cheek, and quickly hugged her.

"Never, ever do that to us again, hear me Mister! You almost broke my heart when they couldn't find you for so long; I thought my intuition was broken" she said, while pulling him closer by the collar, "and my intuition is never wrong! But you're back now, so you're all but forgiven"

She let him go, and curled into Jasper's side, whose amused of smugness showed no remorse to Edwards utterly dazed and confused one.

"Um... Fairy dust" Edward quickly and quietly said, and I was by his side in a second.

"Baby? Are you alright?"

Edward looked at me with scared eyes, "I don't get it" he whispered to me, "why was her intuition broken?"

I caught a laugh in my throat, and willed it not to make a sound, "um, Alice is our little fortune teller. She say's she predicts the future, kind of like Billy. She knew something horrible would happen to you, but she also saw you coming home to me too. And when the police found a body that they said was you, Alice was devastated, she thought she'd made up everything in her head. She was a little unpleasant to be around for a few days" I finally let my self have a little giggle in his ear.

His face had a look of enlightenment, and a light bulb seemed to shine bright above his head, "oh"

The day wore on, more tears were shed, and there would be many more to come in the imminent future. The clock struck five, and I knew it was time for Edward to finally be able to rest. We said our goodbyes, and promised to come over bright and early the next morning for tea, but I think that was only because it was the only word that Esme seemed to be able to choke out in her grief.

I promised that we would be there early-early, early enough to rival the waking of the birds. That pleased her as she cuddled further into Carlisle. With another round of waves we simply took off.

"Do you want to simply walk?" I asked, looking at the single black hummer in the driveway that belonged to Emmett.

He smiled, "only if malady will escort me!" He held out his elbow and I gently threaded my hand through it, giggling, and so in love.

We walked easily, but slowly, and gradually my hand slipped form his elbow and rested firmly in his hand. I held my other hand below my bump, gently caressing it.

Every so often, Edward would pick my hand up and kiss it, or stop us and kiss my lips, or neck, or bend down and kiss my stomach.

And when a bench appeared form seemingly no where, he forced me to sit, curled up between my legs, and cooed softly to our baby.

I was in fits of giggles when a black hummer pulled up along side us.

"You two alright there?" Rose asked out the window.

Edward looked up, his cheeks rosy from smiling so much, and nodded. "Ness and I are just having a little conversation about staying off Momma's bladder"

I laughed so hard when he said that, that I almost wet myself, "Oh, babe, you had to mention the bladder!" I moaned, needing the bathroom more than ever.

Rose laughed, "come on, hop in, we'll be home in 2 minutes flat, and you can use the bathroom"

Edward stood, then helped me up, then into the car. Alice and Jasper had done the obvious, quick, jump in the back move to make room for us.

And I squirmed all the way home.

The bathroom became the number one priority, then a shower, shared of course, to save water... dinner, and then we excused ourselves for bed.

"I am so proud of you" I whispered in his ear, his naked body pressed up against my naked body.

"I am so in love with you" he whispered back, as I snaked my legs round his to get closer.

"I am so in love with you"

And with that he slid slowly inside me. I shivered at the feel. We made love that night. Twice. It was slow and loving and completely right.

* * *

**Thus the end. **

**Hope you all enjoyed, and it wasn't too anticlimatic or anything for you. Most guessed that Ben, was, in fact, Edward... **

**also, those who have been with me for Living Ghosts, no, i haven't abandonded it, i know exactly where she's going, I just need the inspiration to sit down and write it, which has been a little hard lately... :/... But stick with me, and know i am truly sorry that I left you on such a cliffy. **

**I may be back to write an epilode, but I don't know yet. **

**Love you **

**Jess**


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